Today is February 19?
Yes, today is February 19!
also recalled.
2004 年 2 19, the first time I stepped into the Rose community.
2004 年 2 月 10, 001 roses in my community to help his brother registered a blue sky ID --- /, since then, the community rose more than a woman, as appropriate, such as life, Since then, Rose community rooted in my heart.
blue sky / I like the name. I listen attentively you flowers in the voice chat, use is blue sky. However, I prefer for themselves then I registered it an ID.
Because home computer does not belong to me, until February 19, I first point of landing, and began my journey of roses.
Now, I remember the first time into the forum which,
now, I remember the first time made that post,
Now, remember that I later decided the fate of the moment,
now, there is no reason to regret the moment, yes, it is her grasp
Now, remember to stay calm in all the world happy and joy,
now not figure out why the poor are forgotten ?
Now, I said to myself: I had the result of the pursuit of the eternal,
now, I should say nothing eternal, but myth, right?
Now, I do not hate, not now, I have always hated
Why did not hate it? That is my choice.
Now, is it now?
Now, 7:20, and day and time off so fast.
If Rose community can get better so quickly enough.
Now, stop the memories,
now, Oh, there would still be honest,
now , I say: bless you, Rose community; bless you, I have roses in love.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Excel Form 35 strokes will learn Cheats
Maybe you already have hundreds of Excel to complete the financial statements, perhaps you have used Excel functions for complex operations a thousand times, maybe you think that Excel is nothing but this, even nothing new. However, we repeated countless times daily in handy to use all the skills in Excel is just one per cent. Excel in the topic from some little-known tips to start, get a glimpse on the Excel Different customs.
one, so that different types of data using different colors
in the payroll, if you want more than equal to the total wages of 2,000 yuan to greater than or equal to the total wages of 1,500 yuan,
1. Open the Click the second drop-down box on the right button, select the Click the
2. Click
3. setup is complete, press the
see it payroll, payroll data is not according to your request that come in different colors.
Second, a category drop-down list filled with items
name of the business we often want to enter into the table, the name in order to maintain consistency, the use of
1. in Sheet2 in the name of the business by category (such as
2. Select A column (
modeled on the above operation, the B, C ... ... column named such as the C column), the implementation of In the Enterprise
need to enter the enterprise name and then select the column (eg column D), and then open the C1), OK to exit.
4. Select any cell in column C (eg, C4), click the right side of the drop-down button, select the appropriate Then select the cell corresponding to the D column cell (eg D4), click the drop-down button to the appropriate category business name from the list, select the name of the enterprise need to fill the cell.
Tip: When printing a report in the future, if you do not need to print the
Third, establish a
1. the space in the toolbar right click, choose In the
Click
2. then in the (common document), and modeled it for the operation of the above named (such as
repeat the above operations, multi-document list to add a few names.
3. Select the distribution Hyperlink By pressing the
repeat the above operation, the menu item and its corresponding workbook, the hyperlink documents together.
4. After the need to open the
Tip: Although we will
four, making
1. the implementation of the Select the .
modeled on the above operation, one by one to record a special sign of the input of other good
2. Open the A work area in the toolbar.
switch to the How many buttons).
3. Select one of the
4. Right-click the button after a name, in the following the shortcut menu, select exit.
Repeat this step, the button to link with the corresponding macro.
5. close the
five, with
1. Open the worksheet to print, use the mouse without the need to print the row (or column) marked drag, select them and then right click in the shortcut menu that appears, select , will not need to print the row (or column) hidden.
2. implementation
3. the hidden rows (or columns) are displayed, and repeat the operation,
4. After the need to print a form, open the , publishing what, on the toolbar click the
six, so that data on demand if you want to sort
departments where employees are sorted according to these sectors is not the name of the relevant information by both the Pinyin order, not by stroke order, how do? can be self- defined sequence order.
1. execute The team, a workshop, two workshops, three workshops,
2. Select the one of the drop-down button, select the just-defined sequence, by two
seven
the data sheet completely hidden part of the cell those who do not want to browse the contents of the inspection, had it hidden.
1. selected to hide the contents of the cell (area), the implementation of
2. and then switch to the
3. the implementation of the
after this set after the contents of the cell is no longer shown, is to use Excel's features can not be allowed to clear the sky.
Tip:
eight, so in English and Chinese input method appeared
intelligent editing table, some cells to enter the English, and some cells to enter the Chinese input method is not convenient to switch again, why not set and let intelligent input method to adjust it?
selected range of cells to enter the Chinese, the implementation of tab, press the After the election
range of cells that need to input Chinese characters in any cell, Chinese input method (IME list, the first a Chinese input method) automatically open, elected in the other cell, Chinese input method automatically closed.
nine, so that
1. the implementation of the
2. In the then click
3. If you need to enter this text in the future, simply enter
ten, a custom function in Excel, although the rich
Excel function, but it does not meet all our needs. We can customize a function to perform certain operations. Here, we define a calculated from the trapezoid area function:
1. The implementation of the
2. In the window, execute
3. the right of the defined function to complete.
can later use the built-in function is the same as using a custom function.
Tip: Use the above methods defined in the corresponding function is usually only used in the workbook.
XI header following pictures
lining added to the background sheet is lining in the entire worksheet below, can not only lined the first in the table below it?
1. execute → Background Worksheet
2. while holding down the Ctrl key, right in the picture without lining cells (area) in drag, and select those cells (area).
3. Click After this setting later, leaving the cell lining on the picture below, and the selected cell (area) not lining the picture below (in fact, is the picture to be
Tip? lining the image below in the cell does not support printing.
second, with a hyphen get it (it is assumed that the B, C, D columns into one column.)
1. in the D column, insert two empty columns (E, F series), and then enter the formula in cell D1: = B1 & C1 & D1.
2. D1 cells again selected, use the
3. Select the E series, the implementation of , press the
4. the B, C, D, E column deleted, completion of the merger work.
Tip: Complete the steps from 1,2 combined effect has been achieved, but at this time if you delete B, C, D series, the formula error. And thus should be carried out step 3, the formula is converted to the same
Performance of Students often Article
friend asked, For this consideration, I am here gives a simple way to use the function implementation.
stored in student achievement is assumed here Sheet1 worksheet range of cells A1 to G64, which act title 1, 2 acts subject name.
1. Switch to Sheet2 worksheet, select cell A1, enter the formula: = IF (MOD (ROW (), 3) = 0, , sheet1! Aū, INDEX (sheet1! $ A: $ G, INT (((ROW () +4) / 3) +1), COLUMN ())))。
2. once again select the cell A1 , with the > At this point, the basic shape results section, the following simple modified look.
3. adjust the row height and column width, the same selected range of cells A1 to G2 (No. 1 student achievement bar area), according to The following operation).
4. also selected range of cells A1 to G3, click on the To add a border all the results section.
press the What more appropriate function. Excel box input requirements (such as related help files, you can quickly determine the required function.
fifth, while viewing a different worksheet in the multiple cells of data
Sometimes we edit a worksheet (Sheet1), it is necessary View other work sheet (Sheet2, Sheet3 ... ...) the contents of a cell, you can use Excel's .
later, no matter in which the worksheet, simply open the > In previous versions of Excel 2002 for the operation of a range of cells is too much trouble to add a border, Excel 2002 which features a new development.
Click the pull button, pop-up in the subsequent drop-down list, choose drop-down button, select a border style, and then in the range of cells you need to add drag and drop the frame, you can quickly draw the corresponding range of cells on the border.
Tip: ① If you draw the wrong frame, does not matter, on the toolbar select Color
seventh, the control input text given the length of the cell
Can you imagine when you enter the four digits of the cell was filled with a digit, or enter text in the cell Enter the number you have the time, Excel will automatically determine, instant analysis and pop-up warning, then be nice ah! To achieve this function, the Excel, is also not difficult.
example, we register the cursor to a Therefore, we can click the In the Then in the We then come to and
Obviously, when someone entered the cell is not a four-digit time, Excel will display a warning dialog box pops up telling you wrong reasons, and until you enter the correct to continue recording. Amazing? In fact, in Excel's , why not given a free hand, their design of a test standard, so you do Excel show distinctive luster.
eighth, a group of more than fill the form of fixed cells
we know that each time you open Excel, the software is always turned on by default multiple sheets. In addition to this we can see that Excel has a strong capacity leaflet form, more suitable for multiple interrelated tables coordination. To coordinate the association, of course, first need to sync input. Therefore, in many cases, will need more than the same time in the same table cell, enter the same content.
So how do a group edit of tables? First we click the first worksheet tab name is not associated with the form, you can hold down the Ctrl key to click.) At this point, we see the name of the title bar of Excel, a The need to enter more than one cell in the table of contents casually write something, we find that
But just sync input is not enough. For example, we need multiple forms of data in the same position change the format of the uniform how to do? First, we have to change the data format of the first table, and then click the The sub-menu, select At this time, Excel will pop up
nineteenth and change the text of the case
in Excel, the form processing and data computing support for the most powerful formula is not, nor is the database, but the function. Do not think that Excel, the function only for numbers, in fact, as long as the content is written into the table, Excel has a special function to edit it. Such as changing the text of the case.
in Excel 2002, provide at least three of the text case conversion function. They are: into For example, a table in cells A1 enter lower case Similarly, if we enter the cell A3
twenty, extract specific characters in a string
In addition to direct input, from an existing cell to extract the contents of a specific character input, is absolutely a way to save time and save trouble, especially for some style especially similar information, such as staff lists, place of origin and other information.
quickly if we want to extract the cells from A4 title, it is best to use characters Of course, if you want to extract the name, then, will have to use the In another case, we do not start from the left and right ends, but directly extracted from the data center a few characters. For example, we want to extract the cells from A5 Means: in the A5 cell extract after the first 4 characters of the two characters, that is, 4 and 5 words.
the twenty-first, into the base ordinal number words to English words into ordinal base is a more complex problem. Because it does not a very fixed pattern: Most of the figures are used into ordinal st Moreover, Therefore, it seems very complicated to implement. In fact, as long as we sort out ideas, find the function, just write a formula that can be easily converted. Do not believe, see: , 2,3,}, CHOOSE (RIGHT (A2), is
XXII, filled with special symbols and financial dealings with the median
people know, when filling in the book there is a convention of , or in the amount of data preceded by digits) 16-LEN (A2))) (A3))) & A3 ) & A4 & REPT (requirements.
xxiii, create text in addition to repeatedly enter the histogram
outside, principle is very simple, it is the intelligent use of special symbols repeated, according to a specified cell showing the results of the comparative effectiveness of different lengths.
example, we first make an annual balance sheet, and then font also drag the fill handle to the G14. We see that a function does not use Excel charts have been right in front of the histogram in plain text, convenient and intuitive, simple and clear.
round, calculate the total number of words in a cell
Sometimes, we may have the character of a cell in the number of interested need to calculate the total number of words in the cell. To solve this problem, in addition to using the function to remove spaces. For example cell A1 now enter a LEN (TRIM (A1))-LEN (SUBSTITUTE (TRIM (A1 ),use The number of characters.
XXV, the euro conversion
This is a new tool in Excel 2002. If you choose to install the Excel 2002 is the default, then it may not be in the find it. However, we can first select the > After we again open the currency conversion display more professional, we can also click on the Excel toolbar, the
one, so that different types of data using different colors
in the payroll, if you want more than equal to the total wages of 2,000 yuan to greater than or equal to the total wages of 1,500 yuan,
1. Open the Click the second drop-down box on the right button, select the Click the
2. Click
3. setup is complete, press the
see it payroll, payroll data is not according to your request that come in different colors.
Second, a category drop-down list filled with items
name of the business we often want to enter into the table, the name in order to maintain consistency, the use of
1. in Sheet2 in the name of the business by category (such as
2. Select A column (
modeled on the above operation, the B, C ... ... column named such as the C column), the implementation of In the Enterprise
need to enter the enterprise name and then select the column (eg column D), and then open the C1), OK to exit.
4. Select any cell in column C (eg, C4), click the right side of the drop-down button, select the appropriate Then select the cell corresponding to the D column cell (eg D4), click the drop-down button to the appropriate category business name from the list, select the name of the enterprise need to fill the cell.
Tip: When printing a report in the future, if you do not need to print the
Third, establish a
1. the space in the toolbar right click, choose In the
Click
2. then in the (common document), and modeled it for the operation of the above named (such as
repeat the above operations, multi-document list to add a few names.
3. Select the distribution Hyperlink By pressing the
repeat the above operation, the menu item and its corresponding workbook, the hyperlink documents together.
4. After the need to open the
Tip: Although we will
four, making
1. the implementation of the Select the .
modeled on the above operation, one by one to record a special sign of the input of other good
2. Open the A work area in the toolbar.
switch to the How many buttons).
3. Select one of the
4. Right-click the button after a name, in the following the shortcut menu, select exit.
Repeat this step, the button to link with the corresponding macro.
5. close the
five, with
1. Open the worksheet to print, use the mouse without the need to print the row (or column) marked drag, select them and then right click in the shortcut menu that appears, select , will not need to print the row (or column) hidden.
2. implementation
3. the hidden rows (or columns) are displayed, and repeat the operation,
4. After the need to print a form, open the , publishing what, on the toolbar click the
six, so that data on demand if you want to sort
departments where employees are sorted according to these sectors is not the name of the relevant information by both the Pinyin order, not by stroke order, how do? can be self- defined sequence order.
1. execute The team, a workshop, two workshops, three workshops,
2. Select the one of the drop-down button, select the just-defined sequence, by two
seven
the data sheet completely hidden part of the cell those who do not want to browse the contents of the inspection, had it hidden.
1. selected to hide the contents of the cell (area), the implementation of
2. and then switch to the
3. the implementation of the
after this set after the contents of the cell is no longer shown, is to use Excel's features can not be allowed to clear the sky.
Tip:
eight, so in English and Chinese input method appeared
intelligent editing table, some cells to enter the English, and some cells to enter the Chinese input method is not convenient to switch again, why not set and let intelligent input method to adjust it?
selected range of cells to enter the Chinese, the implementation of tab, press the After the election
range of cells that need to input Chinese characters in any cell, Chinese input method (IME list, the first a Chinese input method) automatically open, elected in the other cell, Chinese input method automatically closed.
nine, so that
1. the implementation of the
2. In the then click
3. If you need to enter this text in the future, simply enter
ten, a custom function in Excel, although the rich
Excel function, but it does not meet all our needs. We can customize a function to perform certain operations. Here, we define a calculated from the trapezoid area function:
1. The implementation of the
2. In the window, execute
3. the right of the defined function to complete.
can later use the built-in function is the same as using a custom function.
Tip: Use the above methods defined in the corresponding function is usually only used in the workbook.
XI header following pictures
lining added to the background sheet is lining in the entire worksheet below, can not only lined the first in the table below it?
1. execute → Background Worksheet
2. while holding down the Ctrl key, right in the picture without lining cells (area) in drag, and select those cells (area).
3. Click After this setting later, leaving the cell lining on the picture below, and the selected cell (area) not lining the picture below (in fact, is the picture to be
Tip? lining the image below in the cell does not support printing.
second, with a hyphen get it (it is assumed that the B, C, D columns into one column.)
1. in the D column, insert two empty columns (E, F series), and then enter the formula in cell D1: = B1 & C1 & D1.
2. D1 cells again selected, use the
3. Select the E series, the implementation of , press the
4. the B, C, D, E column deleted, completion of the merger work.
Tip: Complete the steps from 1,2 combined effect has been achieved, but at this time if you delete B, C, D series, the formula error. And thus should be carried out step 3, the formula is converted to the same
Performance of Students often Article
friend asked, For this consideration, I am here gives a simple way to use the function implementation.
stored in student achievement is assumed here Sheet1 worksheet range of cells A1 to G64, which act title 1, 2 acts subject name.
1. Switch to Sheet2 worksheet, select cell A1, enter the formula: = IF (MOD (ROW (), 3) = 0, , sheet1! Aū, INDEX (sheet1! $ A: $ G, INT (((ROW () +4) / 3) +1), COLUMN ())))。
2. once again select the cell A1 , with the > At this point, the basic shape results section, the following simple modified look.
3. adjust the row height and column width, the same selected range of cells A1 to G2 (No. 1 student achievement bar area), according to The following operation).
4. also selected range of cells A1 to G3, click on the To add a border all the results section.
press the What more appropriate function. Excel box input requirements (such as related help files, you can quickly determine the required function.
fifth, while viewing a different worksheet in the multiple cells of data
Sometimes we edit a worksheet (Sheet1), it is necessary View other work sheet (Sheet2, Sheet3 ... ...) the contents of a cell, you can use Excel's .
later, no matter in which the worksheet, simply open the > In previous versions of Excel 2002 for the operation of a range of cells is too much trouble to add a border, Excel 2002 which features a new development.
Click the pull button, pop-up in the subsequent drop-down list, choose drop-down button, select a border style, and then in the range of cells you need to add drag and drop the frame, you can quickly draw the corresponding range of cells on the border.
Tip: ① If you draw the wrong frame, does not matter, on the toolbar select Color
seventh, the control input text given the length of the cell
Can you imagine when you enter the four digits of the cell was filled with a digit, or enter text in the cell Enter the number you have the time, Excel will automatically determine, instant analysis and pop-up warning, then be nice ah! To achieve this function, the Excel, is also not difficult.
example, we register the cursor to a Therefore, we can click the In the Then in the We then come to and
Obviously, when someone entered the cell is not a four-digit time, Excel will display a warning dialog box pops up telling you wrong reasons, and until you enter the correct to continue recording. Amazing? In fact, in Excel's , why not given a free hand, their design of a test standard, so you do Excel show distinctive luster.
eighth, a group of more than fill the form of fixed cells
we know that each time you open Excel, the software is always turned on by default multiple sheets. In addition to this we can see that Excel has a strong capacity leaflet form, more suitable for multiple interrelated tables coordination. To coordinate the association, of course, first need to sync input. Therefore, in many cases, will need more than the same time in the same table cell, enter the same content.
So how do a group edit of tables? First we click the first worksheet tab name is not associated with the form, you can hold down the Ctrl key to click.) At this point, we see the name of the title bar of Excel, a The need to enter more than one cell in the table of contents casually write something, we find that
But just sync input is not enough. For example, we need multiple forms of data in the same position change the format of the uniform how to do? First, we have to change the data format of the first table, and then click the The sub-menu, select At this time, Excel will pop up
nineteenth and change the text of the case
in Excel, the form processing and data computing support for the most powerful formula is not, nor is the database, but the function. Do not think that Excel, the function only for numbers, in fact, as long as the content is written into the table, Excel has a special function to edit it. Such as changing the text of the case.
in Excel 2002, provide at least three of the text case conversion function. They are: into For example, a table in cells A1 enter lower case Similarly, if we enter the cell A3
twenty, extract specific characters in a string
In addition to direct input, from an existing cell to extract the contents of a specific character input, is absolutely a way to save time and save trouble, especially for some style especially similar information, such as staff lists, place of origin and other information.
quickly if we want to extract the cells from A4 title, it is best to use characters Of course, if you want to extract the name, then, will have to use the In another case, we do not start from the left and right ends, but directly extracted from the data center a few characters. For example, we want to extract the cells from A5 Means: in the A5 cell extract after the first 4 characters of the two characters, that is, 4 and 5 words.
the twenty-first, into the base ordinal number words to English words into ordinal base is a more complex problem. Because it does not a very fixed pattern: Most of the figures are used into ordinal st Moreover, Therefore, it seems very complicated to implement. In fact, as long as we sort out ideas, find the function, just write a formula that can be easily converted. Do not believe, see: , 2,3,}, CHOOSE (RIGHT (A2), is
XXII, filled with special symbols and financial dealings with the median
people know, when filling in the book there is a convention of , or in the amount of data preceded by digits) 16-LEN (A2))) (A3))) & A3 ) & A4 & REPT (requirements.
xxiii, create text in addition to repeatedly enter the histogram
outside, principle is very simple, it is the intelligent use of special symbols repeated, according to a specified cell showing the results of the comparative effectiveness of different lengths.
example, we first make an annual balance sheet, and then font also drag the fill handle to the G14. We see that a function does not use Excel charts have been right in front of the histogram in plain text, convenient and intuitive, simple and clear.
round, calculate the total number of words in a cell
Sometimes, we may have the character of a cell in the number of interested need to calculate the total number of words in the cell. To solve this problem, in addition to using the function to remove spaces. For example cell A1 now enter a LEN (TRIM (A1))-LEN (SUBSTITUTE (TRIM (A1 ),use The number of characters.
XXV, the euro conversion
This is a new tool in Excel 2002. If you choose to install the Excel 2002 is the default, then it may not be in the find it. However, we can first select the > After we again open the currency conversion display more professional, we can also click on the Excel toolbar, the
Monday, May 30, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Comedy 】 【 see how long you can sustain !
100OOOO I be a joke! ( welcome to share reprint ) 1. Every time my wife and her husband quarrel, the wife went to the toilet to stay a long time, so more often, and her husband would have asked his wife: toilet brush!
2. Web chat sex -
M: sister we met it! No other meaning you want a meal. -
Woman: What you eat me? What grade? What price? -
M: As long as my sister compliment to the city the hotel as you point. -
F: Really? Would not you? -
M: I believe my brother have the strength. -
Woman: Well, you do not afraid point. -
M: As long as my sister would see my brother soon realized. That going? -
women: go to your house, so wife to cook food. -
3.'s wife: her husband, tomorrow is the fifteenth day that you and I see the lights, stroll to accompany accompany Yang Yang relationship! Ha ha -
Cardiff: We two do not have to accompany emotional support, and deep enough, and then deep to hit the magma. -
Wife: Well! life if one day I can not take care of themselves, you can do to take care of my whole life? -
husband: If you love me deeply, I believe you will not use my care, I'm afraid of drag! -
Wife: You! ! Ah!!! -
4. School fifth grade teacher assigned essay, entitled: write a tug of war. Requirements: must be after the beginning of the end. -
a student to write: -
afternoon, we held a group and Two tug of war. (Beginning) -
their class pull over, pull over our class. (After) -
Finally, our class won! (End) -
very angry after watching the teacher, in his book and drew a big circle. And wrote the reviews: too short! -
composition of the student to pay again becomes:, -
afternoon, we held a group and Two tug of war. -
their class pull over, pull over our class. Their class pull over, pull over our class. Their class pull over, pull over our class. (Written ten times) -
Finally, our class won! -
5. class, pretty serious female teacher explained to the children: Such as Xiao-Ming, please use the -
Xiao Ming: I'm not very good economic conditions at home and can only live in 40 square meters of the breast. -
teacher: (I'm dizzy) ... ... ... ... this not-for-one. -
Xiao Ming: I have to skip school every day in front of my house a cleavage. -
Teacher: (weighs) ... ... No ... ... and back to one. -
Xiaoming: ... ... teacher, I really can not think of coming. My nipples want broken. -
teacher: ... ... -
6. a bus, a girl can not stand the stuffy bus, while her people do not pay attention, Discovery stealing clothes behind the zipper pull, there is really a cool feeling, and she zipped it up again . Soon she felt hot, and again zipper pull. It's that one way or another down several times. Girl standing behind the man spoke:
7. a group of people to travel to a local customary breakfast is bread, rice and an egg per person. This morning, one peeling an egg is bad, just like the waitress said: voice shouted: Miss called, the sentence: Then came the waiter restaurant director, said: sentence:
8. the daughter of a driver driving past a village in the country. Saw a woman looks dignified, graceful, so get off like to indecently assault her. -
met the woman, hastily exclaimed:
drivers listened, quickly jump on cars to go, fled by car. -
The woman in the car stamped:
9. a daughter to get married, but husband not a Buddhist, parents do not agree. The man persuaded the woman had to listen to study Buddhism, an early prospective parents-praise. -
over a period of time, parents asked about the man's current situation to her daughter, she said he had a Buddhist. So the parents said:
10. Xiaoqian is a beautiful woman moving, but her digestive system is not very good, and it often fart. That day, Xiao Qian in the bus and put a fart ... ... a classmate standing next to her trabecular immediately said: . -
but not in the moment Xiaoqian again ... ... another student a small river also went on to say: -
However, she could not help but put a super loud, super smelly fart ... ... At this time, there is a student Chen quickly cut in and said: .
11. two seriously injured patients in the ward chatting. -
one said: things too far, did not see. I'll quickly go over, and saw sign that read: ditch in front, please bypass. can be just read, I did not react, carrying the man and car fall out.
this point, he paused and asked:
that suddenly gave him a look, said:
1, bathe the tortoise is seen by toads, -
turtle: have not seen such beauty as I do? See you almost have to pop out of the eyeball. -
toad: Girl, you tease me, did not see me have goose bumps yet? -
2, oriole see Xunshi the weasel said:
Carter, oriole was shot down, weasel cursed:
3, dragonfly made a girlfriend, Dragonflies do not trust my mom asked: What does she do? -
dragonfly: It was singer Oh! -
dragonfly Mom: Singer? Before a dig it! -
4, an ant and tree crow fight! -
ants: You kind of give me down! -
Crow: So, you kind of give me up! -
ant: good! you waiting for me to have you look good! -
Crow: What do you want? -
ant: I'll go get all my brothers, shake you down and killed along with you! -
5, both the welfare lottery feces shell mantis, a dragonfly feces shell: I want to put in a radius of 50 miles award to buy down the toilet, eat your fill! -
feces shell dragonfly B: You Ah Tai Su it! If I won the lottery to bag a living, eat fresh! -
6, male butterflies of the female butterfly sings: -
along came the scream, the mother butterfly sings:
7, playing a pair of ducks to the river and saw his wife in the hibernating frog river cave. Drake: Look, more happiness. Duck on drake: Do not look, is the big boss, live in villas, honeymoon, let's say nothing in this life, sir! -
8, the first day, the white rabbit to the river fishing, caught nothing, go home. -
next day the rabbit went to the river fishing, or catch nothing, go home. -
third day, the white rabbit arrived in the river, a big fish to jump out from the river, directed at the rabbit cried: -
If you dare to use TMD Hu carrots as bait, and I flat dead! -
(a) drink too much of a village home into the wrong pen, the sow lying beside said: Wife: Give me some water, sow hum a hum, the village head said, do not chant will not fall down , Caesar what Johnson. Readily touched, said: buy leather you, or double-breasted it. -
(b) of the old couple to take pictures, the photographer asked: -
(c) of the day, a barber to the beat of a selling candied fruit, and to the police station the police asked the barber: Why did you hit the sell candied fruit? Barber said :***, perm in my room, he shouted out
(d) a male into the constipation, to find that one person ran into the room the instant the wind and rain, -
(e) foreigners travel Laiwu, the case of a funny cat lady, came to ask: What are you doing? The old lady replied: Ancient Nepal pound cat! Startled foreigners, even the elderly will be foreign language! Presented its chocolate, dried sweet potatoes the old lady thought it was, and said: I Laiwu there! Foreigners fainted! -
(VI) Butterfly on bees, said: You're a petty, packed in a sweet belly but are reluctant to give me a bee wrote: Hmm! Said I, you two antennas on his head so long Why do not message me it. -
(g) {peer} beetles and mosquitoes love, beetles: The.
(h) husband: is it now? Wife: ten, her husband: the complete it? Wife: it is too early, others do not get some sleep! I asked ten o'clock it? Wife: eleven o'clock in the whole bar. -
(ix) the couple fighting, put a pillow thrown downstairs, a beggar was passing through, Jinki, and then flew the next quilt, beggars ecstasy, wiping away tears rushed upstairs shouting: upstairs in the big brother, Please, put that woman toss come. -
(x) Wife: night is not trying to Event? Husband: old thought his wife: not allowed to say that tired after work that night, not the spirit, can not fool on the bin, her husband: a must, wife: That night, my clothes are washed for it. -
(k) of a young woman out the trash, do not accidentally slipped in the garbage, was about to get back up again by a scavenging of the old man in his arms, feeling the old man said: people just do not live in town, Do not say such a good wife, do not the. -
(xii) an NPC toes suddenly blue, miracle-working doctor diagnosed with cancer, so removed, a few days, two toes become blue, the removal of three days later, bluish feet wide, had to switch to large hospitals, the last expert consultation diagnosis: socks fade. -
donkey into the city to catch a farm, donkey red light, fined 10 yuan. Drink donkey farmer: Farmer even more gas: Farmer was in a rage, then shouted: Farmer fire: Farmer tears Road, . Farmer said:
2. boss called Secretary: Beijing these days I accompany you play, you are ready to look at -
secretary called her husband: these days I want to go to Beijing for a meeting with the boss -
man called lover: My wife was not at home these days, with me -
Valentine called counseling students: the teacher something these days, closed -
students called Grandpa: no classes the past few days, Grandpa you play with -
grandfather to the Secretary to call: Beijing can not go, and grandson asked me to -
The man called the Secretary of : CEOs do not suddenly something Beijing for a meeting of the -
husband to lover to call: his wife does not go, another time -
lover to guide the students to call: as usual these days!!! -
students to call Grandpa: 555 teacher said usual these days -
grandfather to the Secretary to call: or go to Beijing now, you're ready for -
3. a beggar knocked on the window saying: Give me some money. -
Mr. read, to say: it gives you a cigarette. -
beggar said: I do not smoke, give me some money. -
Mr. said: I car have beer, you drink a bottle of bar. -
beggar said: I do not drink, give me some money. -
, said: If this is so, I take you to mahjong, I pay you betting on, is you win. -
beggar said: I do not gamble, give me some money. -
, said: I'll take you to enjoy sauna -
beggar said: I do not prostitutes, give me some money. -
Mr. : Are you on the train, and I take you back, let my wife see: a non-smoking, no drinking, no gambling, no prostitution a good man can be mixed Chengsha Yang! - p>
4. Mr. Zhang graduated from the police academy two years of marriage, the wife always felt something was different, suspected his wife was having an affair. One day, Mr. Zhang is always found his wife on a cell phone text messages from strangers, and the contents of each message is the same: -
eleven p.m., Mr. Zhang's wife in one fell swoop would be derailed and that is sexual immorality catch the man. -
Zhang cursed: not underestimate me, do you think that message I do not understand? read backwards is
5. Dragon turtle eat dumplings, so the snail to buy dumplings. After two hours, the snail has not come back, the turtle anxious curse: fuck I do not come back to starve to death! Then the door came the sound of a snail: I do not you fucking say it! - / p>
day, the ox to the ass out of a problem, ask Ass brains, or not answer. Cattle curse: What ass, Nanzuonvyou it! -
2. seven years after graduation, and finally take a big project, building a chimney meters, two-month period, cost three hundred thousand, but to Advancer. Finally finished out late last year. Today people to come to acceptance, being yelled die, not get paid. Damn! Drawings look backwards, others to dig a well! -
3. a drunken man accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by crowd, a policeman came: What happened? Drunk: do not know, I am also just arrived. -
4. The doctor asked the patient how the fracture. Patient said, I think there are sand shoes to hold the poles shake shoes. TMD has a bastard through there, thought I was electrocuted, he took a stick gave me two sticks! -
5. one said, turtles father, mother and son of a bitch turtle family decided to go hiking, they took a brick-and two cans of the sea -
the end of the chicken, then went off to Yangmingshan. Hard to climb ten years, at last! They sat on the floor, remove the equipment standard -
prepare dinner. Results, but found no band can opener! -
son of a bitch:
Turtle Dad:
son of a bitch:
So son of a bitch journey home ... ... ... -
time flies, time flies, and shortly passed 20 years, son of a bitch has yet to emerge. -
Turtle Mom:
Turtle Dad:
blink of an eye is five years, the turtles still can not see traces of his son. Parents regardless of the turtle! Old couple decided to start. -
out getting ready to eat cake ... ... -
Suddenly, son of a bitch stuck his head out from behind a tree ... ... -
son of a bitch:
to be I wait until the bar! I hate most people lie to me! -
-
-
6. small Xin: Daddy, why my name there are three payment? -
Dad: lack of gold in your life, so take the name of Xin, like some life in the water to take named Miao, and some lack of wood called life in the forest. -
small Xin: Dad, you say that Guo Jingjing and her sister lives in the lack of it? -
7. a pair of male and female friends sitting on a park bench in love, women suddenly want to fart. -
of the man said: I am Valley Division of the birds, not as you listen. -
men really than hear. -
Thus, women in the -
women: do not like the valley like a bird? -
M: fart too loud, I could not! -
8. turtle injured. let the snail go to buy medicine. After 2 hours. Snail not come back. Turtle anxious curse: fuck I do not come back to die! Then the door came the sound of a snail: I say you are his mother not to go! -
9. somebody keep a pig, sick, abandoned, then know that return pig, the number of abandoned reactive. Day, the car turned a lot of bending abandoned pig, late-night call the family, asked: ; -
10. elephant accidentally stepped on ants, ants are out in force, have climbed to the elephants. Elephant shook himself, the ants have fell off. At this point there is one in the elephant's neck, falling ants loudly called for -
11. day computer class, there is a row of students computer crashed. Then a student stood up and said:
12. a monkey eat peanuts before going into the bottom a chance to eat first. This manager explained: It has been fed peaches, Peach not pull out the results, monkeys scare, and now we must eat a good amount. -
13. Xiao Ming:
Dad:
14. a story:
was unable to bear asked:
continue to tell the story:
15. there are people just learn a foreign language, the day walking in the streets, accidentally stepped on the foot of a foreigner, the man said hastily: m sorry too. five .
16. Monkey Monkey King wrote a letter -
Dear Monkey: -
I write this letter slowly, because I know you see the word offensive! -
down our 2 week rain, the first 4 days the second time under the following 3 days! -
Huaguoshan you been? I had very bad in heaven, because there is no gravity, so the stool, urine, tears and snot are not fall, do not you say bitter? -
beef noodle soup here is very delicious, Maybe you can come with us to eat hot pot restaurants West! -
Guanyin your sister to give birth, because students do not know the man or woman, we do not know if you want to be uncle or aunt! -
I sent your clothes you get it? When I was afraid to go to send overweight, so cut out the buttons on the pockets of clothes! -
is late to write here, the time to me to play, remember not to drink plenty of water, or to the urine does not come out here very hard to accept! -
P. S had wanted to send money to you, but the envelope has been glued! -
17. a dyspeptic patient complained to the doctor: I'm getting is not normal, what to eat pull anything, eat cucumber pull cucumber, watermelon eating watermelon pull, how to restore normal? Doctors silent for a moment, that you can only eat shit out. -
18. someone to go to Shanghai on business lost a dollar in the street, police said: He can not help but sigh,
19. One day an ant is the sun, suddenly saw an elephant walking leisurely, got busy with straight front legs, next to the rabbit hurriedly asked you doing? Ant said:
20. earthworms a day is very boring, cut into small earthworm put his two went to play badminton, earthworms, a good mother think this way, put yourself into four paragraphs to play mahjong, and earthworms father thought like, put his into the minced meat. Earthworm mother cried and said: hare ran quickly went in front of all on fire, but also to stay inside .....? son that? A ........ my socks off 23. a man to be wearing a river fishing No one leaves a fish hook ~ half, he changed a piece of bread, like a half-day did not fish on the hook ~ ~ no way ~ as he had to replace it, or half of earthworms did not fish on the hook under the ~ ~ ~ He angrily threw into the water and pulled out a large 100rmb scolded :Buy their own! ! ! [B] 31. I spent 80,000 bought a Western Zhou pottery, called yesterday tocolumns were identified, experts said gravely: 33. a prisoner executed, the bullet is
34. father to his son a story: ? No half-bound woman; not the man's face lit up: That I should have it later in life? fortune teller said: hey, to later in life you get used to a person's life -
37. someone to dinner, see a piece of beef noodles in the beef, they pointed to the bowl asked the boss: how beef is not beef noodles? boss said dismissively: Do not be too serious, do you expect to get that from my wife in a pie a wife do? -
38. Three mice were tasting the United States, Japan, China, wine, drink American wine mouse, go to step 3 down; drink sake mouse, go to step 2 down; mice drinking Chinese Erguotou , holding a kitchen knife, shouted:
39. in a restaurant meal, a customer waiting for a long time to call the waiter asked, ? have to wait?
40. Once a man Jiao cool. -
he was dead. -
funeral that day. -
his family cried :'-
Shuang Shuang Ah Ah ... .... '-
passersby puzzled. Asked: 'what are they cool. '-
family cried: 'Shuangsi ... ... Shuangsi!! -
41. a man to jump, just shouted back to his wife: negotiators, said: not my intention, God will not lose my temper, I will brave live with my endless creativity. to set off the beauty of this world! In fact, I really, really very creative ... [B] 48. mouse to facilitate See also Bear, too scared to say a word, the Bears saw a mouse, said: Bear asked: [The mouse when the toilet paper the ..-
49. just chat with friends, which comes to you, you know? I quarreled with them, and almost beat them, because some of them say that you monkeys, apes and some that you like, just too much! Did not see you as a pig! -
50. panda birthday, you said: I made two wishes, one is able to cure my dark circles, the other is to want to have a color photograph -
51. Kuangzhui bees butterflies, butterfly is married to a snail. Bee puzzled: Where is he better than me butterflies answer: whatever the outcome, people have their own house, which, like you live in the dormitory -
52. One day an elephant in the bath. Suddenly there was an ant came to this they said. You stand up. Started to stand up. Ant! You sit down and go. Understand the elephant you want to do now to ask ants. One will stand up and sit down for a while. Ant answered! I lost my underwear see if it is stolen you wear -
53. production team has just bought a donkey, but he died a few days. just a mare in heat. production team of employees to call to the production of business in the field captain. , but the jackass is dead. is to buy a head of a donkey, or wait for you ?
54. small beetles: Mom, why do we have to eat shit it? Beetles mother: the child, how can we say, when to eat such a disgusting thing -
55. a meteor across the night sky, I quickly make a wish, I hope you can become prettier. Who knows just finished Xu wish meteor I was not embarrassed?!! [B] 59. Restaurant fly fly toilet, said: fishy Zhuxiu you chase all day, I drink all day long popular spicy, come now! toilet flies: Road of different phase plan not to eat in good You Shayong, light ass you've seen a few beautiful women? -
60. sophomore, all quarters of the girls like Zhou Hua Jian's songs, a tape was borrowed by us to go. Day, the girls ask spread: Zhou Hua Jian I do? Girls bunk answer: in my bed too! Silent two seconds, and then all the overturned bed. -
61. a boy to a classmate to take a sheng nickname, called Pan Zhu, girls crying to the teacher, the teacher agreed to criticism of the boys the next day, speaking teachers in the class: nicknames, can not people like the Han to Jiaosha it ?
62. a dog to see the road over an ordinary dog, appeared and started to go asking it: I am dog, what you are? Ordinary dogs look at it dismissively said: idiot, see, I was undercover! -
Seven Fairy Lake in the bath , Journey anxious to see. -
monk shouted sternly toward the lake: the donor, be careful crocodile ah! -
flying fairies naked shore. -
Pig sigh: Leadership IQ can not go beyond ah -
four monk to travel by plane, the way the crash, but only three parachutes. -
a result, Tang Seng said, and everyone to answer, not answer to the jump. -
Monkey: Monkey King, the sky a few sun ah? -
Monkey King: A. -
Monkey: give you a hand. -
Monkey: Drifting, the sky a few moon ah? -
Drifting: A. -
Monkey: also give you a hand. -
happy side of the Pig, so simple question. -
Monkey: Journey, there are few stars in the sky ah? -
. . . . -
Pig jumped down. -
Before long, four of them and fly to travel. The way they crash, or only three parachutes. -
they continue to answer questions. -
Monkey: Monkey, when the PRC was established it? -
Wukong: 1949. -
Monkey: give you a hand. -
Monkey: Drifting, the liberation war, 死了多少人 ah? -
Drifting: 250 million people. -
Monkey: also give you a hand. -
Monkey: Journey, that 250 million people in the name of what? -
...... Journey has just jumped from one. -
third time, four of them and to travel by plane, and on the way and an accident. -
this time, the Pig said: Master, you do not ask, I just jump. -
then plunged into the stream. -
Joining hands Monkey: Amitabha, the parachute has four -
1. One night, a naked man called a taxi, the driver stared at him intently, Naked furious and shouted: You have not seen his mother naked man it! Driver also furious: I see where you money from his mother! -
2. male and female friends to sleep a room, the woman drew the line: Over the line is brutal. Found that men really do not wake up over the line, the woman the man severely beat a slap in the face: you do not even like animals! -
3. Hongtao meet foreign guests one day and tried to get in a word, saying: I am Hong TaoLiu, foreign guests, saying: I am his mother was seven of diamonds too! -
4. Zai Zai was my father repaired, he went to find her mother complained: ; -
5. an old woman can not read, but like to listen to the radio, listen to weather forecasts every day. Asked the family dinner the day:
-
6. cliff waving a mouse, a short front paws, jump again and again, to learn to fly, watched it fall next to the mother bat's badly beaten, worried that: it father, to do not tell it, it is not we own it! -
-
7. and friends to see the sunrise the top of Mount Tai, a friend pointed to the sky, said: Bai! you yelling ah !
1. Ghost: God, I want the next reincarnation, like an angel white body, and with a pair of wings, but I still want to suck blood. -
God: What do you do Whisper it reincarnated. -
2. A friend for the first time work-study program in the park Maibing Gun, I am sorry crying; this time, where one person suddenly shouted: That friend one, but was happy to follow the call: -
3. Ants and elephants get married soon, the elephant died. Ants while buried in the elephant, while crying:
4. Boys and girls of a crush on a girl and blow it like the courage to ask what kind of boys -
discouraged the boys: -
5. One day, I catch the last train out of breath while chasing repeatedly calling: Master! Master wait for me ~ -
suddenly famous passenger stuck his head out the window, slowly in front of me: Monkey King. You do not chase -
6. Bio exam day, of which one question is to look at the legs of birds to guess the names of birds. Really do not know of a Health, angry on the paper to leave the examination room of a tear. Invigilator very angry and asked him:
7. Mongolian beautiful actress After the performance, met with the leadership came to power, and then her hand, Wenhanwennuan, not half a day client was incensed, cordial and asked: What's your name? The actress replied excitedly,
8. A man bought a parrot would say Liangzi Who, one day the owner was not at home, there is a change of gas to knock on the door. -
Parrot: Who. -
A: for gas -
Parrot: Who. -
A: for gas -
... ... -
master came home the door lay person, the owner wondering, this is Who -
door: for gas -
9. One can see a bunch of things on the road, knelt down, sniffed that may be going to the toilet, put his hand touched his mouth to lick the next point, and said, really is going to the toilet, but fortunately did not step on! ~ -
10. The doctor asked the patient how the fractures, A: I think there are sand shoes, shoes for shake leaning poles, I shake ah shake ...... someone thought I was electrocuted, he took a stick to me Two stick. -
11. A professor teaching in the field: One student quickly said: is the index finger 。。。
12. A public toilet, A Jun constipation, Abdullah did not pull out a long time, when another man rushed Jun B, just squat on the crackling tension is not good fun, A monarch heard, said: Yeah, pull so happy
13. Exercise bike for some that is, the front of a pedestrian, Moujun panic, shouting: Persevering for some that hit the pedestrian or riding too bad. Pedestrians got furious:
14. beautiful sister, 2 years old. Day, even called her mother, the little guy answered the phone. Out of courtesy, I have to look at her greeting. -
colleague's son, 4 years old. Classic sentence:
15. The road in a car accident - hurt foot turtle nest cattle. Police are investigating the cause of the accident, said Wo Niu: how the turtle hit you? The nest is hanging plaster ground beef recalls panic undecided: I do not remember, when he too quickly! -
16. A polar bear to stay alone on the ice in a daze, really bored and started pulling their hair play, one ... ... ... ... three ... two ... the last one is not pulling left, he suddenly exclaimed ... ... ... ... so cold ah! ! ... ... ... ... ... ... -
17. Colleague's daughter is a small Meirenpeizai, home from the kindergarten her mother often asked her: I do not think the U.S. has 。
-
18. A couple of epigenetic contraceptive failure, a small boy, the child lives out on the clenched fist, have been laughing. A nurse broke his fist. Found inside a pill, then the little boy began to speak:
19. The two men went to the mountains to play, a man fell off a cliff accidentally stumble, peer anxiously shouted: I still fall down it ~~~~~
20. I am also the top, a man riding a bicycle, the handlebars are not palms, hands across their chests, after seeing a traffic police, said: palm good! The man answered, comrades! -
21. Monkey asked the fox, how to put an elephant with a song that described the ass? Fox said: Leo'sant heard saying:
22. Two brothers were the tiger chase, and his brother Dist, said: the 。
23. Noodles are steamed Hai Bian, looking to avenge cousin instant noodles, instant noodles for a meal to see BEAN BAG beat, came back on the noodles, said: Relax, I put it all played out feces. -
24. A stylish woman onto the bus, saw a fierce air potty paper towel wipe out a while, just to put a fart sitting Unfortunately, next to a man laughed: -
25. Penguin is boring, then think of the Arctic to look for polar bears to play -
walked away, walked for many years, is coming, do not suddenly think of it home, turn off the gas -
then return, walked away and went for many years, shut the gas, but also starting, and walked away, and went for many years -
finally came to the polar bear's door, knock on the door: -
- polar bear! Come out to play! -
polar bears: -
- does not play. -
26. Junior high school, a math teacher speaking equation change, a rolled sleeves on the podium loudly: students pay attention! I want to deformed! ... ... -
27. Squint a judge, the three day trial, the suspect B, C, -
A judge said:
B A:
judge was furious:
C:
28. Aircraft, the crow on the flight attendants said: the pig, said:
29. A rabbit into a shop to ask the boss: Do you have any carrots to sell here? Xiaohua QQ314121870 lonely wife said: no. After a child rabbit again Q: Do you have any carrots to sell here? Impatient boss says no! After a child again asked the rabbit, the boss had had enough: if you come back trouble and I took the scissors to cut your ears! -
After a child again Rabbit: Do you have any scissors to sell here? The boss said: no. Rabbit asked: Do you have any carrots to sell here ... ... -
30. Devil seize the princess -
devil said: You break the throat even though it is called, no one will save you! -
Princess: broken throat, breaking the throat! -
no one: the princess, I'm coming to you! -
devil: speak of the devil she is! -
Cao Cao: devil, why do you call me? -
devil: Wow, saw a ghost! -
Ghost: Fuck! Been found. -
-
by: Nonsense, who found me? -
Who: Pishi with me! -
devil: oh, my god! -
God: Who told me? ! -
Who: No one told you, ah! -
no one: how can I! ! ! -
had said to the devil from schizophrenia. -
31. Princess marriage of a king was asked to head an apple on the princess, who shot a chance to have it married the princess. -
the first man shot in the apple, he said:
The second man also shot the apple, he said:-
32. A person in a mental hospital practice, suddenly a neurotic chase to him holding a kitchen knife to, this man turned around and ran, ran until a dead end, thinking that this is over, the patient said: you knife, which you chase me. -
33. Flight attendant advised passengers to wear seat belts -
asks:
A:
34. A new sculpture --- a school girl held his left hand holding a dove in the book. School leaders to publicly call the name of their students. A time to respond to an endless stream, one of the loudest voices: Reading top bird-use! -
35. The sun to the grass to call -
Sun: Hey, the grass you? I day. -
grass: I grass, Who are you? -
the sun: I'm on ah -
grass: I am the grass, you in the end Who -
the sun: I'm at, ah, you grass it -
grass: TMD, Who are you in the end, my grass -
the sun: I'm at, I shall ah -
grass: I am the grass. -
Sun's mother grabbed Tel: grass, I at his mother, the grass your mother right? -
36. Male and female friends to go shopping, -
girlfriend: Oh, good acid, oh feet. -
boyfriend was nervous: how? Step on a lemon? -
37. Bear asked the little white rabbit: Take rabbit backside .-
38. Rabbits to the bakery: the boss, a hundred little bread? Boss: no. The next day the rabbit came again: the boss, a hundred little bread? Boss: Sorry, no. -
a door on the third day the rabbit: the boss, a hundred little bread? Boss: I'm too embarrassed, or not. -
skipping rabbits on the fourth day came: the boss, a hundred little bread? Boss: Great! Today, a hundred small bread ~! -
rabbit: Great! Give me two! -
39. Father and son take the bus. -
Son: Dad, what time ah? -
father: stop to go. -
son: when to stop ah? -
father: to stopped. -
40. There was a man and a tiger tied to two trees, respectively, the Tigers tied the rope below a candle to Get out the rope burns out, and if the rope is blown, the tiger will eat into out, the results say a word, no eat by Tiger -
he said . . -
41. Wolf just wanted to take food when passing a house, heard a man learned their children: Wolf was choked, said: men, men are liars !!!-
42. the girl asked her boyfriend,
boyfriend was no way Chande
43. The first day, the white rabbit to the river fishing, caught nothing, go home. -
next day the rabbit went to the river fishing, or catch nothing, go home. -
third day, the white rabbit arrived in the river, a big fish to jump out from the river, directed at the rabbit cried: -
If you dare fuck with Hu carrots as bait, and I flat dead! -
44. Moujun first plane, fear, afraid to open eyes, eyes open after 15 minutes, look out the window and yelled:
sat next said:
45. girlfriend texted me:
After a while, I received:
46. Sanmao to the hair salon to do hair, the hair stylist said: I compiled a tails. Hair stylist accidentally knocked off the San Mao's hair. San Mao sighed and said: I come to a carve a good pull. Yet another hair stylist accidentally knocked off the root. San Mao saw the fire: you want me to Ah disheveled? -
47. Once there was a candy, long walk in the street, suddenly said: Oh, my feet a good soft -
48. M: Do you like me? -
women: do you think .-
MAN: Yes! -
W: You guess again .-
49. a mental patient in writing, and the doctor asked:
50. ...... side while ......-
children: his clothes off one side, while pants .-
Teacher comments: he in the end is to de-ah? or wear ah? -
Title: One -
children: one of my left foot hurt. -
Teacher comments: You are centipede it? -
subject: one after another -
children: work, my father's home after another. -
Teacher comments: You have several fathers in the end it? -
Title: sorry -
children: a bar ditch in front of my home very sad. -
Teacher comments: the teacher is more sad -
Title: and then -
children: my mother was short and tall, fat and thin. -
Teacher comments: Your mother is a deformation of magic it? -
Title: You see -
kids: What you looking at! never seen ah? -
teacher reviews: Do not get pulled out -
Title: thriving -
children write: thriving Wing confession .-
Comments: Do not look too much drama! -
Title: delicious -
children write: delicious ass .-
teacher :.........-
Title: naive -
children write: really hot today .-
Comments: You're naive -
Title: Sure enough -
kids said: Yesterday I ate fruit. then Liangshui -
Comments: is the phrase, not separate -
Title: First ...... then ...... Example: eat first, then take a bath .-
children: Sir, good-bye! -
teacher reviews :.................-
Topic: What is -
children: a train passing Moreover Moreover Moreover Moreover -
Teacher comments: I have to die -
1, -
toilets for men and women connected to the school. Forget to bring a girl to the toilet tissue, is embarrassed when the man next door came the bathroom toilet, girls Huarong pale and loudly asked, A boy next door, deep and powerful way:
2, -
doctor asked the patient how the fracture. Patient said, I think there are sand shoes to hold the poles shake shoes. TMD has a bastard through there, thought I was electrocuted, he took a stick gave me two sticks! -
3, -
biology class, the teacher asked: How can we correctly identify the octopus hands and feet? Student A: fart smell to it, it will cover your nose is the hand, the other is the feet. Class are down. -
4, -
always put a person at work fart sound, my colleagues could not help saying: you can not help but speak out? Then I would see the school beauty QQ314121870 lonely he sat there shivering. Colleagues asked what he was doing, he replied: I have now transferred into a vibration 啦! -
-
5, -
person ride, heard a passer in the howling: go, go, go ... ... I thought, damn I can sing: Austrian to Austria to ... oh ... voice hardly ever, fell into the ditch. Passers-by shouted: Mom! Tell you Gully ditch, you ride? ! Killed deserve! -
-
6, -
carp and turtles to receive a marriage certificate. The clerk asked the age of the turtle, the turtle said: 100. Unfortunately, the clerk said: I'm sorry, in accordance with the provisions of your family, you're too young, not allowed to marry. -
-
7, -
A couple came upon a wishing well of water. Her husband bent down, made a wish after throwing a coin into the well. Would also like to wish his wife, but she accidentally fell into the well without bending. Her husband was shocked, then smiled and said to himself:
8, -
a couple in river fishing. His wife keep arguing the total, for a fish hook, and his wife said: The fish is really poor. Husband said: Yes, ah, just shut up all right not to do? -
-
9, -
science class the teacher asked: The teacher asked:
10, -
spiders love ants, affection Shique rejected, Spider shouted: good man!
-
11, -
just a little studious student, he used the winter to earn part-time tuition. During the day to help butcher flesh at night to the hospital internship. One night there was a woman because of the emergency, to an operation, by the little light to push her into the operating room. Panic eclipsed the old woman to shout slogans:
12, -
one vomiting on the plane first, flight attendants take an empty bag, to get almost full Shiyou bag, and asked, To be back to see you everywhere, regardless of their cause, replied:
[B] -
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2. Web chat sex -
M: sister we met it! No other meaning you want a meal. -
Woman: What you eat me? What grade? What price? -
M: As long as my sister compliment to the city the hotel as you point. -
F: Really? Would not you? -
M: I believe my brother have the strength. -
Woman: Well, you do not afraid point. -
M: As long as my sister would see my brother soon realized. That going? -
women: go to your house, so wife to cook food. -
3.'s wife: her husband, tomorrow is the fifteenth day that you and I see the lights, stroll to accompany accompany Yang Yang relationship! Ha ha -
Cardiff: We two do not have to accompany emotional support, and deep enough, and then deep to hit the magma. -
Wife: Well! life if one day I can not take care of themselves, you can do to take care of my whole life? -
husband: If you love me deeply, I believe you will not use my care, I'm afraid of drag! -
Wife: You! ! Ah!!! -
4. School fifth grade teacher assigned essay, entitled: write a tug of war. Requirements: must be after the beginning of the end. -
a student to write: -
afternoon, we held a group and Two tug of war. (Beginning) -
their class pull over, pull over our class. (After) -
Finally, our class won! (End) -
very angry after watching the teacher, in his book and drew a big circle. And wrote the reviews: too short! -
composition of the student to pay again becomes:, -
afternoon, we held a group and Two tug of war. -
their class pull over, pull over our class. Their class pull over, pull over our class. Their class pull over, pull over our class. (Written ten times) -
Finally, our class won! -
5. class, pretty serious female teacher explained to the children: Such as Xiao-Ming, please use the -
Xiao Ming: I'm not very good economic conditions at home and can only live in 40 square meters of the breast. -
teacher: (I'm dizzy) ... ... ... ... this not-for-one. -
Xiao Ming: I have to skip school every day in front of my house a cleavage. -
Teacher: (weighs) ... ... No ... ... and back to one. -
Xiaoming: ... ... teacher, I really can not think of coming. My nipples want broken. -
teacher: ... ... -
6. a bus, a girl can not stand the stuffy bus, while her people do not pay attention, Discovery stealing clothes behind the zipper pull, there is really a cool feeling, and she zipped it up again . Soon she felt hot, and again zipper pull. It's that one way or another down several times. Girl standing behind the man spoke:
7. a group of people to travel to a local customary breakfast is bread, rice and an egg per person. This morning, one peeling an egg is bad, just like the waitress said: voice shouted: Miss called, the sentence: Then came the waiter restaurant director, said: sentence:
8. the daughter of a driver driving past a village in the country. Saw a woman looks dignified, graceful, so get off like to indecently assault her. -
met the woman, hastily exclaimed:
drivers listened, quickly jump on cars to go, fled by car. -
The woman in the car stamped:
9. a daughter to get married, but husband not a Buddhist, parents do not agree. The man persuaded the woman had to listen to study Buddhism, an early prospective parents-praise. -
over a period of time, parents asked about the man's current situation to her daughter, she said he had a Buddhist. So the parents said:
10. Xiaoqian is a beautiful woman moving, but her digestive system is not very good, and it often fart. That day, Xiao Qian in the bus and put a fart ... ... a classmate standing next to her trabecular immediately said: . -
but not in the moment Xiaoqian again ... ... another student a small river also went on to say: -
However, she could not help but put a super loud, super smelly fart ... ... At this time, there is a student Chen quickly cut in and said: .
11. two seriously injured patients in the ward chatting. -
one said: things too far, did not see. I'll quickly go over, and saw sign that read: ditch in front, please bypass. can be just read, I did not react, carrying the man and car fall out.
this point, he paused and asked:
that suddenly gave him a look, said:
1, bathe the tortoise is seen by toads, -
turtle: have not seen such beauty as I do? See you almost have to pop out of the eyeball. -
toad: Girl, you tease me, did not see me have goose bumps yet? -
2, oriole see Xunshi the weasel said:
Carter, oriole was shot down, weasel cursed:
3, dragonfly made a girlfriend, Dragonflies do not trust my mom asked: What does she do? -
dragonfly: It was singer Oh! -
dragonfly Mom: Singer? Before a dig it! -
4, an ant and tree crow fight! -
ants: You kind of give me down! -
Crow: So, you kind of give me up! -
ant: good! you waiting for me to have you look good! -
Crow: What do you want? -
ant: I'll go get all my brothers, shake you down and killed along with you! -
5, both the welfare lottery feces shell mantis, a dragonfly feces shell: I want to put in a radius of 50 miles award to buy down the toilet, eat your fill! -
feces shell dragonfly B: You Ah Tai Su it! If I won the lottery to bag a living, eat fresh! -
6, male butterflies of the female butterfly sings: -
along came the scream, the mother butterfly sings:
7, playing a pair of ducks to the river and saw his wife in the hibernating frog river cave. Drake: Look, more happiness. Duck on drake: Do not look, is the big boss, live in villas, honeymoon, let's say nothing in this life, sir! -
8, the first day, the white rabbit to the river fishing, caught nothing, go home. -
next day the rabbit went to the river fishing, or catch nothing, go home. -
third day, the white rabbit arrived in the river, a big fish to jump out from the river, directed at the rabbit cried: -
If you dare to use TMD Hu carrots as bait, and I flat dead! -
(a) drink too much of a village home into the wrong pen, the sow lying beside said: Wife: Give me some water, sow hum a hum, the village head said, do not chant will not fall down , Caesar what Johnson. Readily touched, said: buy leather you, or double-breasted it. -
(b) of the old couple to take pictures, the photographer asked: -
(c) of the day, a barber to the beat of a selling candied fruit, and to the police station the police asked the barber: Why did you hit the sell candied fruit? Barber said :***, perm in my room, he shouted out
(d) a male into the constipation, to find that one person ran into the room the instant the wind and rain, -
(e) foreigners travel Laiwu, the case of a funny cat lady, came to ask: What are you doing? The old lady replied: Ancient Nepal pound cat! Startled foreigners, even the elderly will be foreign language! Presented its chocolate, dried sweet potatoes the old lady thought it was, and said: I Laiwu there! Foreigners fainted! -
(VI) Butterfly on bees, said: You're a petty, packed in a sweet belly but are reluctant to give me a bee wrote: Hmm! Said I, you two antennas on his head so long Why do not message me it. -
(g) {peer} beetles and mosquitoes love, beetles: The.
(h) husband: is it now? Wife: ten, her husband: the complete it? Wife: it is too early, others do not get some sleep! I asked ten o'clock it? Wife: eleven o'clock in the whole bar. -
(ix) the couple fighting, put a pillow thrown downstairs, a beggar was passing through, Jinki, and then flew the next quilt, beggars ecstasy, wiping away tears rushed upstairs shouting: upstairs in the big brother, Please, put that woman toss come. -
(x) Wife: night is not trying to Event? Husband: old thought his wife: not allowed to say that tired after work that night, not the spirit, can not fool on the bin, her husband: a must, wife: That night, my clothes are washed for it. -
(k) of a young woman out the trash, do not accidentally slipped in the garbage, was about to get back up again by a scavenging of the old man in his arms, feeling the old man said: people just do not live in town, Do not say such a good wife, do not the. -
(xii) an NPC toes suddenly blue, miracle-working doctor diagnosed with cancer, so removed, a few days, two toes become blue, the removal of three days later, bluish feet wide, had to switch to large hospitals, the last expert consultation diagnosis: socks fade. -
donkey into the city to catch a farm, donkey red light, fined 10 yuan. Drink donkey farmer: Farmer even more gas: Farmer was in a rage, then shouted: Farmer fire: Farmer tears Road, . Farmer said:
2. boss called Secretary: Beijing these days I accompany you play, you are ready to look at -
secretary called her husband: these days I want to go to Beijing for a meeting with the boss -
man called lover: My wife was not at home these days, with me -
Valentine called counseling students: the teacher something these days, closed -
students called Grandpa: no classes the past few days, Grandpa you play with -
grandfather to the Secretary to call: Beijing can not go, and grandson asked me to -
The man called the Secretary of : CEOs do not suddenly something Beijing for a meeting of the -
husband to lover to call: his wife does not go, another time -
lover to guide the students to call: as usual these days!!! -
students to call Grandpa: 555 teacher said usual these days -
grandfather to the Secretary to call: or go to Beijing now, you're ready for -
3. a beggar knocked on the window saying: Give me some money. -
Mr. read, to say: it gives you a cigarette. -
beggar said: I do not smoke, give me some money. -
Mr. said: I car have beer, you drink a bottle of bar. -
beggar said: I do not drink, give me some money. -
, said: If this is so, I take you to mahjong, I pay you betting on, is you win. -
beggar said: I do not gamble, give me some money. -
, said: I'll take you to enjoy sauna -
beggar said: I do not prostitutes, give me some money. -
Mr. : Are you on the train, and I take you back, let my wife see: a non-smoking, no drinking, no gambling, no prostitution a good man can be mixed Chengsha Yang! - p>
4. Mr. Zhang graduated from the police academy two years of marriage, the wife always felt something was different, suspected his wife was having an affair. One day, Mr. Zhang is always found his wife on a cell phone text messages from strangers, and the contents of each message is the same: -
eleven p.m., Mr. Zhang's wife in one fell swoop would be derailed and that is sexual immorality catch the man. -
Zhang cursed: not underestimate me, do you think that message I do not understand? read backwards is
5. Dragon turtle eat dumplings, so the snail to buy dumplings. After two hours, the snail has not come back, the turtle anxious curse: fuck I do not come back to starve to death! Then the door came the sound of a snail: I do not you fucking say it! - / p>
day, the ox to the ass out of a problem, ask Ass brains, or not answer. Cattle curse: What ass, Nanzuonvyou it! -
2. seven years after graduation, and finally take a big project, building a chimney meters, two-month period, cost three hundred thousand, but to Advancer. Finally finished out late last year. Today people to come to acceptance, being yelled die, not get paid. Damn! Drawings look backwards, others to dig a well! -
3. a drunken man accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by crowd, a policeman came: What happened? Drunk: do not know, I am also just arrived. -
4. The doctor asked the patient how the fracture. Patient said, I think there are sand shoes to hold the poles shake shoes. TMD has a bastard through there, thought I was electrocuted, he took a stick gave me two sticks! -
5. one said, turtles father, mother and son of a bitch turtle family decided to go hiking, they took a brick-and two cans of the sea -
the end of the chicken, then went off to Yangmingshan. Hard to climb ten years, at last! They sat on the floor, remove the equipment standard -
prepare dinner. Results, but found no band can opener! -
son of a bitch:
Turtle Dad:
son of a bitch:
So son of a bitch journey home ... ... ... -
time flies, time flies, and shortly passed 20 years, son of a bitch has yet to emerge. -
Turtle Mom:
Turtle Dad:
blink of an eye is five years, the turtles still can not see traces of his son. Parents regardless of the turtle! Old couple decided to start. -
out getting ready to eat cake ... ... -
Suddenly, son of a bitch stuck his head out from behind a tree ... ... -
son of a bitch:
to be I wait until the bar! I hate most people lie to me! -
-
-
6. small Xin: Daddy, why my name there are three payment? -
Dad: lack of gold in your life, so take the name of Xin, like some life in the water to take named Miao, and some lack of wood called life in the forest. -
small Xin: Dad, you say that Guo Jingjing and her sister lives in the lack of it? -
7. a pair of male and female friends sitting on a park bench in love, women suddenly want to fart. -
of the man said: I am Valley Division of the birds, not as you listen. -
men really than hear. -
Thus, women in the -
women: do not like the valley like a bird? -
M: fart too loud, I could not! -
8. turtle injured. let the snail go to buy medicine. After 2 hours. Snail not come back. Turtle anxious curse: fuck I do not come back to die! Then the door came the sound of a snail: I say you are his mother not to go! -
9. somebody keep a pig, sick, abandoned, then know that return pig, the number of abandoned reactive. Day, the car turned a lot of bending abandoned pig, late-night call the family, asked: ; -
10. elephant accidentally stepped on ants, ants are out in force, have climbed to the elephants. Elephant shook himself, the ants have fell off. At this point there is one in the elephant's neck, falling ants loudly called for -
11. day computer class, there is a row of students computer crashed. Then a student stood up and said:
12. a monkey eat peanuts before going into the bottom a chance to eat first. This manager explained: It has been fed peaches, Peach not pull out the results, monkeys scare, and now we must eat a good amount. -
13. Xiao Ming:
Dad:
14. a story:
was unable to bear asked:
continue to tell the story:
15. there are people just learn a foreign language, the day walking in the streets, accidentally stepped on the foot of a foreigner, the man said hastily: m sorry too. five .
16. Monkey Monkey King wrote a letter -
Dear Monkey: -
I write this letter slowly, because I know you see the word offensive! -
down our 2 week rain, the first 4 days the second time under the following 3 days! -
Huaguoshan you been? I had very bad in heaven, because there is no gravity, so the stool, urine, tears and snot are not fall, do not you say bitter? -
beef noodle soup here is very delicious, Maybe you can come with us to eat hot pot restaurants West! -
Guanyin your sister to give birth, because students do not know the man or woman, we do not know if you want to be uncle or aunt! -
I sent your clothes you get it? When I was afraid to go to send overweight, so cut out the buttons on the pockets of clothes! -
is late to write here, the time to me to play, remember not to drink plenty of water, or to the urine does not come out here very hard to accept! -
P. S had wanted to send money to you, but the envelope has been glued! -
17. a dyspeptic patient complained to the doctor: I'm getting is not normal, what to eat pull anything, eat cucumber pull cucumber, watermelon eating watermelon pull, how to restore normal? Doctors silent for a moment, that you can only eat shit out. -
18. someone to go to Shanghai on business lost a dollar in the street, police said: He can not help but sigh,
19. One day an ant is the sun, suddenly saw an elephant walking leisurely, got busy with straight front legs, next to the rabbit hurriedly asked you doing? Ant said:
20. earthworms a day is very boring, cut into small earthworm put his two went to play badminton, earthworms, a good mother think this way, put yourself into four paragraphs to play mahjong, and earthworms father thought like, put his into the minced meat. Earthworm mother cried and said: hare ran quickly went in front of all on fire, but also to stay inside .....? son that? A ........ my socks off 23. a man to be wearing a river fishing No one leaves a fish hook ~ half, he changed a piece of bread, like a half-day did not fish on the hook ~ ~ no way ~ as he had to replace it, or half of earthworms did not fish on the hook under the ~ ~ ~ He angrily threw into the water and pulled out a large 100rmb scolded :Buy their own! ! ! [B] 31. I spent 80,000 bought a Western Zhou pottery, called yesterday to
34. father to his son a story: ? No half-bound woman; not the man's face lit up: That I should have it later in life? fortune teller said: hey, to later in life you get used to a person's life -
37. someone to dinner, see a piece of beef noodles in the beef, they pointed to the bowl asked the boss: how beef is not beef noodles? boss said dismissively: Do not be too serious, do you expect to get that from my wife in a pie a wife do? -
38. Three mice were tasting the United States, Japan, China, wine, drink American wine mouse, go to step 3 down; drink sake mouse, go to step 2 down; mice drinking Chinese Erguotou , holding a kitchen knife, shouted:
39. in a restaurant meal, a customer waiting for a long time to call the waiter asked, ? have to wait?
40. Once a man Jiao cool. -
he was dead. -
funeral that day. -
his family cried :'-
Shuang Shuang Ah Ah ... .... '-
passersby puzzled. Asked: 'what are they cool. '-
family cried: 'Shuangsi ... ... Shuangsi!! -
41. a man to jump, just shouted back to his wife: negotiators, said: not my intention, God will not lose my temper, I will brave live with my endless creativity. to set off the beauty of this world! In fact, I really, really very creative ... [B] 48. mouse to facilitate See also Bear, too scared to say a word, the Bears saw a mouse, said: Bear asked: [The mouse when the toilet paper the ..-
49. just chat with friends, which comes to you, you know? I quarreled with them, and almost beat them, because some of them say that you monkeys, apes and some that you like, just too much! Did not see you as a pig! -
50. panda birthday, you said: I made two wishes, one is able to cure my dark circles, the other is to want to have a color photograph -
51. Kuangzhui bees butterflies, butterfly is married to a snail. Bee puzzled: Where is he better than me butterflies answer: whatever the outcome, people have their own house, which, like you live in the dormitory -
52. One day an elephant in the bath. Suddenly there was an ant came to this they said. You stand up. Started to stand up. Ant! You sit down and go. Understand the elephant you want to do now to ask ants. One will stand up and sit down for a while. Ant answered! I lost my underwear see if it is stolen you wear -
53. production team has just bought a donkey, but he died a few days. just a mare in heat. production team of employees to call to the production of business in the field captain. , but the jackass is dead. is to buy a head of a donkey, or wait for you ?
54. small beetles: Mom, why do we have to eat shit it? Beetles mother: the child, how can we say, when to eat such a disgusting thing -
55. a meteor across the night sky, I quickly make a wish, I hope you can become prettier. Who knows just finished Xu wish meteor I was not embarrassed?!! [B] 59. Restaurant fly fly toilet, said: fishy Zhuxiu you chase all day, I drink all day long popular spicy, come now! toilet flies: Road of different phase plan not to eat in good You Shayong, light ass you've seen a few beautiful women? -
60. sophomore, all quarters of the girls like Zhou Hua Jian's songs, a tape was borrowed by us to go. Day, the girls ask spread: Zhou Hua Jian I do? Girls bunk answer: in my bed too! Silent two seconds, and then all the overturned bed. -
61. a boy to a classmate to take a sheng nickname, called Pan Zhu, girls crying to the teacher, the teacher agreed to criticism of the boys the next day, speaking teachers in the class: nicknames, can not people like the Han to Jiaosha it ?
62. a dog to see the road over an ordinary dog, appeared and started to go asking it: I am dog, what you are? Ordinary dogs look at it dismissively said: idiot, see, I was undercover! -
Seven Fairy Lake in the bath , Journey anxious to see. -
monk shouted sternly toward the lake: the donor, be careful crocodile ah! -
flying fairies naked shore. -
Pig sigh: Leadership IQ can not go beyond ah -
four monk to travel by plane, the way the crash, but only three parachutes. -
a result, Tang Seng said, and everyone to answer, not answer to the jump. -
Monkey: Monkey King, the sky a few sun ah? -
Monkey King: A. -
Monkey: give you a hand. -
Monkey: Drifting, the sky a few moon ah? -
Drifting: A. -
Monkey: also give you a hand. -
happy side of the Pig, so simple question. -
Monkey: Journey, there are few stars in the sky ah? -
. . . . -
Pig jumped down. -
Before long, four of them and fly to travel. The way they crash, or only three parachutes. -
they continue to answer questions. -
Monkey: Monkey, when the PRC was established it? -
Wukong: 1949. -
Monkey: give you a hand. -
Monkey: Drifting, the liberation war, 死了多少人 ah? -
Drifting: 250 million people. -
Monkey: also give you a hand. -
Monkey: Journey, that 250 million people in the name of what? -
...... Journey has just jumped from one. -
third time, four of them and to travel by plane, and on the way and an accident. -
this time, the Pig said: Master, you do not ask, I just jump. -
then plunged into the stream. -
Joining hands Monkey: Amitabha, the parachute has four -
1. One night, a naked man called a taxi, the driver stared at him intently, Naked furious and shouted: You have not seen his mother naked man it! Driver also furious: I see where you money from his mother! -
2. male and female friends to sleep a room, the woman drew the line: Over the line is brutal. Found that men really do not wake up over the line, the woman the man severely beat a slap in the face: you do not even like animals! -
3. Hongtao meet foreign guests one day and tried to get in a word, saying: I am Hong TaoLiu, foreign guests, saying: I am his mother was seven of diamonds too! -
4. Zai Zai was my father repaired, he went to find her mother complained: ; -
5. an old woman can not read, but like to listen to the radio, listen to weather forecasts every day. Asked the family dinner the day:
-
6. cliff waving a mouse, a short front paws, jump again and again, to learn to fly, watched it fall next to the mother bat's badly beaten, worried that: it father, to do not tell it, it is not we own it! -
-
7. and friends to see the sunrise the top of Mount Tai, a friend pointed to the sky, said: Bai! you yelling ah !
1. Ghost: God, I want the next reincarnation, like an angel white body, and with a pair of wings, but I still want to suck blood. -
God: What do you do Whisper it reincarnated. -
2. A friend for the first time work-study program in the park Maibing Gun, I am sorry crying; this time, where one person suddenly shouted: That friend one, but was happy to follow the call: -
3. Ants and elephants get married soon, the elephant died. Ants while buried in the elephant, while crying:
4. Boys and girls of a crush on a girl and blow it like the courage to ask what kind of boys -
discouraged the boys: -
5. One day, I catch the last train out of breath while chasing repeatedly calling: Master! Master wait for me ~ -
suddenly famous passenger stuck his head out the window, slowly in front of me: Monkey King. You do not chase -
6. Bio exam day, of which one question is to look at the legs of birds to guess the names of birds. Really do not know of a Health, angry on the paper to leave the examination room of a tear. Invigilator very angry and asked him:
7. Mongolian beautiful actress After the performance, met with the leadership came to power, and then her hand, Wenhanwennuan, not half a day client was incensed, cordial and asked: What's your name? The actress replied excitedly,
8. A man bought a parrot would say Liangzi Who, one day the owner was not at home, there is a change of gas to knock on the door. -
Parrot: Who. -
A: for gas -
Parrot: Who. -
A: for gas -
... ... -
master came home the door lay person, the owner wondering, this is Who -
door: for gas -
9. One can see a bunch of things on the road, knelt down, sniffed that may be going to the toilet, put his hand touched his mouth to lick the next point, and said, really is going to the toilet, but fortunately did not step on! ~ -
10. The doctor asked the patient how the fractures, A: I think there are sand shoes, shoes for shake leaning poles, I shake ah shake ...... someone thought I was electrocuted, he took a stick to me Two stick. -
11. A professor teaching in the field: One student quickly said: is the index finger 。。。
12. A public toilet, A Jun constipation, Abdullah did not pull out a long time, when another man rushed Jun B, just squat on the crackling tension is not good fun, A monarch heard, said: Yeah, pull so happy
13. Exercise bike for some that is, the front of a pedestrian, Moujun panic, shouting: Persevering for some that hit the pedestrian or riding too bad. Pedestrians got furious:
14. beautiful sister, 2 years old. Day, even called her mother, the little guy answered the phone. Out of courtesy, I have to look at her greeting. -
colleague's son, 4 years old. Classic sentence:
15. The road in a car accident - hurt foot turtle nest cattle. Police are investigating the cause of the accident, said Wo Niu: how the turtle hit you? The nest is hanging plaster ground beef recalls panic undecided: I do not remember, when he too quickly! -
16. A polar bear to stay alone on the ice in a daze, really bored and started pulling their hair play, one ... ... ... ... three ... two ... the last one is not pulling left, he suddenly exclaimed ... ... ... ... so cold ah! ! ... ... ... ... ... ... -
17. Colleague's daughter is a small Meirenpeizai, home from the kindergarten her mother often asked her: I do not think the U.S. has 。
-
18. A couple of epigenetic contraceptive failure, a small boy, the child lives out on the clenched fist, have been laughing. A nurse broke his fist. Found inside a pill, then the little boy began to speak:
19. The two men went to the mountains to play, a man fell off a cliff accidentally stumble, peer anxiously shouted: I still fall down it ~~~~~
20. I am also the top, a man riding a bicycle, the handlebars are not palms, hands across their chests, after seeing a traffic police, said: palm good! The man answered, comrades! -
21. Monkey asked the fox, how to put an elephant with a song that described the ass? Fox said: Leo's
22. Two brothers were the tiger chase, and his brother Dist, said: the 。
23. Noodles are steamed Hai Bian, looking to avenge cousin instant noodles, instant noodles for a meal to see BEAN BAG beat, came back on the noodles, said: Relax, I put it all played out feces. -
24. A stylish woman onto the bus, saw a fierce air potty paper towel wipe out a while, just to put a fart sitting Unfortunately, next to a man laughed: -
25. Penguin is boring, then think of the Arctic to look for polar bears to play -
walked away, walked for many years, is coming, do not suddenly think of it home, turn off the gas -
then return, walked away and went for many years, shut the gas, but also starting, and walked away, and went for many years -
finally came to the polar bear's door, knock on the door: -
- polar bear! Come out to play! -
polar bears: -
- does not play. -
26. Junior high school, a math teacher speaking equation change, a rolled sleeves on the podium loudly: students pay attention! I want to deformed! ... ... -
27. Squint a judge, the three day trial, the suspect B, C, -
A judge said:
B A:
judge was furious:
C:
28. Aircraft, the crow on the flight attendants said: the pig, said:
29. A rabbit into a shop to ask the boss: Do you have any carrots to sell here? Xiaohua QQ314121870 lonely wife said: no. After a child rabbit again Q: Do you have any carrots to sell here? Impatient boss says no! After a child again asked the rabbit, the boss had had enough: if you come back trouble and I took the scissors to cut your ears! -
After a child again Rabbit: Do you have any scissors to sell here? The boss said: no. Rabbit asked: Do you have any carrots to sell here ... ... -
30. Devil seize the princess -
devil said: You break the throat even though it is called, no one will save you! -
Princess: broken throat, breaking the throat! -
no one: the princess, I'm coming to you! -
devil: speak of the devil she is! -
Cao Cao: devil, why do you call me? -
devil: Wow, saw a ghost! -
Ghost: Fuck! Been found. -
-
by: Nonsense, who found me? -
Who: Pishi with me! -
devil: oh, my god! -
God: Who told me? ! -
Who: No one told you, ah! -
no one: how can I! ! ! -
had said to the devil from schizophrenia. -
31. Princess marriage of a king was asked to head an apple on the princess, who shot a chance to have it married the princess. -
the first man shot in the apple, he said:
The second man also shot the apple, he said:
32. A person in a mental hospital practice, suddenly a neurotic chase to him holding a kitchen knife to, this man turned around and ran, ran until a dead end, thinking that this is over, the patient said: you knife, which you chase me. -
33. Flight attendant advised passengers to wear seat belts -
asks:
A:
34. A new sculpture --- a school girl held his left hand holding a dove in the book. School leaders to publicly call the name of their students. A time to respond to an endless stream, one of the loudest voices: Reading top bird-use! -
35. The sun to the grass to call -
Sun: Hey, the grass you? I day. -
grass: I grass, Who are you? -
the sun: I'm on ah -
grass: I am the grass, you in the end Who -
the sun: I'm at, ah, you grass it -
grass: TMD, Who are you in the end, my grass -
the sun: I'm at, I shall ah -
grass: I am the grass. -
Sun's mother grabbed Tel: grass, I at his mother, the grass your mother right? -
36. Male and female friends to go shopping, -
girlfriend: Oh, good acid, oh feet. -
boyfriend was nervous: how? Step on a lemon? -
37. Bear asked the little white rabbit: Take rabbit backside .-
38. Rabbits to the bakery: the boss, a hundred little bread? Boss: no. The next day the rabbit came again: the boss, a hundred little bread? Boss: Sorry, no. -
a door on the third day the rabbit: the boss, a hundred little bread? Boss: I'm too embarrassed, or not. -
skipping rabbits on the fourth day came: the boss, a hundred little bread? Boss: Great! Today, a hundred small bread ~! -
rabbit: Great! Give me two! -
39. Father and son take the bus. -
Son: Dad, what time ah? -
father: stop to go. -
son: when to stop ah? -
father: to stopped. -
40. There was a man and a tiger tied to two trees, respectively, the Tigers tied the rope below a candle to Get out the rope burns out, and if the rope is blown, the tiger will eat into out, the results say a word, no eat by Tiger -
he said . . -
41. Wolf just wanted to take food when passing a house, heard a man learned their children: Wolf was choked, said: men, men are liars !!!-
42. the girl asked her boyfriend,
boyfriend was no way Chande
43. The first day, the white rabbit to the river fishing, caught nothing, go home. -
next day the rabbit went to the river fishing, or catch nothing, go home. -
third day, the white rabbit arrived in the river, a big fish to jump out from the river, directed at the rabbit cried: -
If you dare fuck with Hu carrots as bait, and I flat dead! -
44. Moujun first plane, fear, afraid to open eyes, eyes open after 15 minutes, look out the window and yelled:
sat next said:
45. girlfriend texted me:
After a while, I received:
46. Sanmao to the hair salon to do hair, the hair stylist said: I compiled a tails. Hair stylist accidentally knocked off the San Mao's hair. San Mao sighed and said: I come to a carve a good pull. Yet another hair stylist accidentally knocked off the root. San Mao saw the fire: you want me to Ah disheveled? -
47. Once there was a candy, long walk in the street, suddenly said: Oh, my feet a good soft -
48. M: Do you like me? -
women: do you think .-
MAN: Yes! -
W: You guess again .-
49. a mental patient in writing, and the doctor asked:
50. ...... side while ......-
children: his clothes off one side, while pants .-
Teacher comments: he in the end is to de-ah? or wear ah? -
Title: One -
children: one of my left foot hurt. -
Teacher comments: You are centipede it? -
subject: one after another -
children: work, my father's home after another. -
Teacher comments: You have several fathers in the end it? -
Title: sorry -
children: a bar ditch in front of my home very sad. -
Teacher comments: the teacher is more sad -
Title: and then -
children: my mother was short and tall, fat and thin. -
Teacher comments: Your mother is a deformation of magic it? -
Title: You see -
kids: What you looking at! never seen ah? -
teacher reviews: Do not get pulled out -
Title: thriving -
children write: thriving Wing confession .-
Comments: Do not look too much drama! -
Title: delicious -
children write: delicious ass .-
teacher :.........-
Title: naive -
children write: really hot today .-
Comments: You're naive -
Title: Sure enough -
kids said: Yesterday I ate fruit. then Liangshui -
Comments: is the phrase, not separate -
Title: First ...... then ...... Example: eat first, then take a bath .-
children: Sir, good-bye! -
teacher reviews :.................-
Topic: What is -
children: a train passing Moreover Moreover Moreover Moreover -
Teacher comments: I have to die -
1, -
toilets for men and women connected to the school. Forget to bring a girl to the toilet tissue, is embarrassed when the man next door came the bathroom toilet, girls Huarong pale and loudly asked, A boy next door, deep and powerful way:
2, -
doctor asked the patient how the fracture. Patient said, I think there are sand shoes to hold the poles shake shoes. TMD has a bastard through there, thought I was electrocuted, he took a stick gave me two sticks! -
3, -
biology class, the teacher asked: How can we correctly identify the octopus hands and feet? Student A: fart smell to it, it will cover your nose is the hand, the other is the feet. Class are down. -
4, -
always put a person at work fart sound, my colleagues could not help saying: you can not help but speak out? Then I would see the school beauty QQ314121870 lonely he sat there shivering. Colleagues asked what he was doing, he replied: I have now transferred into a vibration 啦! -
-
5, -
person ride, heard a passer in the howling: go, go, go ... ... I thought, damn I can sing: Austrian to Austria to ... oh ... voice hardly ever, fell into the ditch. Passers-by shouted: Mom! Tell you Gully ditch, you ride? ! Killed deserve! -
-
6, -
carp and turtles to receive a marriage certificate. The clerk asked the age of the turtle, the turtle said: 100. Unfortunately, the clerk said: I'm sorry, in accordance with the provisions of your family, you're too young, not allowed to marry. -
-
7, -
A couple came upon a wishing well of water. Her husband bent down, made a wish after throwing a coin into the well. Would also like to wish his wife, but she accidentally fell into the well without bending. Her husband was shocked, then smiled and said to himself:
8, -
a couple in river fishing. His wife keep arguing the total, for a fish hook, and his wife said: The fish is really poor. Husband said: Yes, ah, just shut up all right not to do? -
-
9, -
science class the teacher asked: The teacher asked:
10, -
spiders love ants, affection Shique rejected, Spider shouted: good man!
-
11, -
just a little studious student, he used the winter to earn part-time tuition. During the day to help butcher flesh at night to the hospital internship. One night there was a woman because of the emergency, to an operation, by the little light to push her into the operating room. Panic eclipsed the old woman to shout slogans:
12, -
one vomiting on the plane first, flight attendants take an empty bag, to get almost full Shiyou bag, and asked, To be back to see you everywhere, regardless of their cause, replied:
[B] -
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Thursday, May 26, 2011
53 is cattle TCM recipe
1, white teeth: brush your teeth with toothpaste on a small soda, brushing teeth after three white jade, rust teeth naturally fall off.
2, how to stop smoking: betel nut one, drill a small hole, and then further holes in the smoke generation of oil poured into the one o'clock two days with a blister to dry out, to smoke, the smell about not smoking, and who can quit smoking smell.
3, how sober: vinegar, sugar, tea, each 100 grams of water, drink immediately after the drink, sober up quickly, drink more than wake up faster.
4, how alcohol: Take a small amount of raw almonds twenty-two MSG into water, then soak in the place two drops of wine, with drink less, you can stop drinking.
5, how to remove bad breath: put a few slices of tea a day chewing in the mouth three times, it will give you mouth to keep fresh, three days after the removal of bad breath.
6, how to do dumb voice: vinegar concentrate 50 grams, sugar 50 grams, 250 grams of cold water stir, slowly drink a day can be severe in patients at increased twice.
7, dry stools how to do: the thick green onions a little finger, dipped in a little sesame oil, insert the anus, up and down tics, perennial Drying vinegar concentrate.
8, psoriasis: a couple of catty vinegar soak peeled pine seeds, bulbs Two days later, three times a day rub, the better. Can also be a spoonful of orange peel powder and sesame oil Banchi spoon transfer smear.
9, toothache trick: Heat over the fire with a peach on the pain of the teeth after the bite, so a few times and never toothache.
10, nose bleeding how to do: When the nose is a lot of bleeding, the patient placed flat under the nose and eyes will be holding the hand of the opposite, points automatically sealed, and the blood immediately to stop.
11, Fishbone card throat: the throat with a vinegar rinse, and then slowly swallow, repeated several times can be cured.
12, athlete's foot tips: a pound of rice vinegar, the vinegar into the basin, soak or dip, twice daily, each about one hour, anti-inflammatory, can cure the foot of, and simple, effective and fast , the light four days to cure.
13, after the disease deafness, tinnitus: garlic nose cat from cat urine. Ear drops three times a cat urine can cure disease after deafness. Tinnitus can be baked snake ashes, blowing your ear, even blowing three times to cure tinnitus.
14, a new method of control of diabetes: a pound of fresh corn kernels. Amount of boiling water to maize after flowering in four a day, drink a bowl, this side can not go to the root, can only control the disease. Can reduce blood sugar. A swelling number of patients treated with urine, the effect is particularly good.
15, sleep sleep snore mouth with teeth a piece of orange peel, with fifteen minutes 3-5 times spit bite can cure the call.
16, foot odor, feet sweating: alum research into Ximo, wiping the soles foot after 10 minutes 3-4 times longer sweat does not stink. Seven or eight months can be maintained.
17, epilepsy (claw crazy): A worm, alum large bowl using the two open half-Whitewater red open. A bowl of morning fasting, and even drink ten days.
18, inflammation of the mouth: one day, sooner or later, Chili, and slowly swallow, keep 3-4 days, and immediately improved. Serious condition can also be with the side treatment.
19, coronary heart disease: 50 grams of soy beans, cooked add salt to eat ate amount of 3-4 days, the party not controlling the development of coronary heart disease, in particular, ideals, fall ill and then after this party.
20, migraine treatment tips: Use a white Luobu Pi posted on both sides of the temple, posted 20 minutes per night, up to quick, do not need to paste the head does not hurt, and the parties attending dizziness brain up.
21, cure hemorrhoids remedies: urea couple of open water to open the pot will be placed into the wet towel and wring release stool after the Tang. The first ten minutes three times a day, while Teng seven days. Within the external hemorrhoids can be cured, blood in the stool rectal prolapse.
22, the rapid lactation: sesame fried, add a little salt, preferably pre-10 days to start eating, meals for non-staple food, can quickly increase breast milk, eat more milk come faster.
23, the treatment of insomnia tips: the large light blue within the chopper on the small cap, small cap before going to sleep the pillow can be placed in fell asleep for several days to cure, those who could not sleep all year round, border treatment 5 days will go to the root.
24, heart disease: sooner or later each day, eat 50 grams of pineapple, the best 5-7 days, 2 years or so will not fall ill, fall ill after eating and then again once a seriously ill person to eat the second day, you can stable condition.
25, visual impairment how to do: dried apricot skin can be eye-catching pieces for a small pillow rest. Of visual impairment. Myopia hyperopia and so the wind tears have a certain effect.
26, hands and feet cracks: Medicinal rheumatism ointment, paste in the affected area long after a day off to a good crack shot.
27, dermatitis leaf tips will be grated line melon redness in the affected area until the friction, twist once every seven days 3 times, 6 times can be used in conjunction serious healing.
28, rhinitis: a drop of sesame oil with a cotton ball on the nose stick out after 15 minutes, 2-3 consecutive days, three times a day, with 2 times more severe. Vinegar, garlic bulbs can also be inserted into nose.
29, hypertension twenty-two fresh seaweed, made a bowl of seaweed soup, do not put inside, although the vegetables, fasting drink, and even served on the 10th then, kelp can quickly restore blood pressure to normal.
30, kidney: fresh river beans 100 grams, add water boiled add a little salt, taking 3-5 days before each meal restore health, such as strong physical force often eat on the best.
31, face speckle method: Soak the peeled almond will, smashed drunk, plus an egg white and mix thoroughly, every night before bed, next morning wash with white wine until the spot back.
32, stomach folk therapies take on the red egg shell into the tile on the twenty fire drying research into Ximo, with sugar to take to drink a spoon before serving, 2 times a day, served to date This side is very precious, while calcium and rickets are extremely effective.
33, or injured tendons: the leek mash, a little boy of less urine, swelling can be attached to the wound a few hours, three days can return to normal.
34, rapid weight loss: to the state to buy twenty-two oolong tea, oolong tea to drink one week can quickly melt fat and promote fat metabolism, to achieve weight loss, but also to prevent the occurrence of obesity. (Thick tea)
35, longevity secret: regular exercise, do not worry about gas every year to keep eating garlic, garlic is the best medicine to extend life, it can kill many harmful bacteria in vivo.
36, irregular menstruation: the Soviet Union to the countryside to take cotyledons twenty-two used the hot water after drinking four cups of light who can, in serious cases to drink a few days, it can soothe the nerves of the role of menstruation available, a large period of cold dysmenorrhea is not normal and special effects.
37, Shao Baitou: 500 grams with a scallop shell (scallop) Jianshui wash your hair, wash once a day 6-8 times to wash, so that in the long thick black hair out, such as old age and more particularly to wash several times.
38, rough skin is tender: each egg with a night mouth facial, wash with water after an hour, as can often rub the skin more tender.
39, frozen shoulder, low back pain, sciatic, back off: the earth element (on hold in a) seven baking ashes, rice wine seventy-two, put a bottle of a total of seven days and nights inside the bubble, seven o'clock every night Seven money to drink wine and play with his fist hard lesion seventy-seven looked mischievous nine, the ill treatment by a few more clothes can be cured.
40, tuberculosis recipe: 500 grams of live pupae research into the use of fire for drying fine, each with 3-5 grams 2 times a day, served to date, the effect is very good, this party is to provide Chinese Medicine Research Institute .
41, arthritis pain relief method: using aspartate ashes, into a small bag, which Where pain paste, paste for one hour every night, posted 3 times cured. This side and easy. Good effect on low back pain significantly improved.
42, underarm body odor: vinegar 100 grams, cumin powder 5 grams. Organs under the Uniform rubbed several times to reconcile body odor disappear immediately.
43, itching how to do: take a piece of ginger cut rub soles of the feet, men and women rub rub left right, a rub for ten minutes.
44, bone hyperplasia: the sheep tibia four, with a large wood burning coke broken into after the yellow face, a day after dinner delivery service with one or two of rice wine, once a few times.
45, swallowed hard objects of metal: the fried leek can be the next big mouth, broken glass, eating goes beyond, you can also use this side.
46, numb hands and feet: a good soaking black fungus, peach, honey, 120 grams each, a total of pound drunk, put the bowl of steaming hot, never finished sub-numb 4 days, pregnant women, disabled.
47, hair loss, from the scalp: Cabbage root slices to put Zeng clay pot water to boil, add two years after the vinegar essence shampoo, and even washing seven or eight days, make hair soft, shiny, the scalp was quickly disappear. Hair and a stubborn.
48, how to treat onychomycosis: The Purple garlic smashed drunk, plus a little alum coated on onychomycosis. Do not wipe too thick. And then sealed with plastic sheeting to nail. Translucent plastic sheeting closed effective only seven or eight days, I feel that up feeling just fine.
49, how to knock down the worms: pumpkin seeds (shelled leaving jen) 50-100 crush Ban Cheng amount of sugar paste with water, empty stomach once these days, the children can only destroy a variety of pests.
50, how to treat mastitis: a small piece of cactus plus three drops of sesame oil after the crush lesion.
51, how to treat foot corns: cut a piece of tape the middle of a small eye, posted on corn, small eyes appear Corn, Zaisa a point on the eye surface urea (fertilizer) and then press and hold a piece of tape, for the first three days, changed six times since the elimination from the Corn off.
52, prostatitis: dried dates thirty-two, rooster liver three fire Dunlan, decoction to drink, and even drink three.
53, Class of rheumatism: with fresh mulberry tree, how much can be chopped, mixed with a little yellow wine Guo Chao, add water, boil water hole, a cup of morning and at night, effective and even clothes.
2, how to stop smoking: betel nut one, drill a small hole, and then further holes in the smoke generation of oil poured into the one o'clock two days with a blister to dry out, to smoke, the smell about not smoking, and who can quit smoking smell.
3, how sober: vinegar, sugar, tea, each 100 grams of water, drink immediately after the drink, sober up quickly, drink more than wake up faster.
4, how alcohol: Take a small amount of raw almonds twenty-two MSG into water, then soak in the place two drops of wine, with drink less, you can stop drinking.
5, how to remove bad breath: put a few slices of tea a day chewing in the mouth three times, it will give you mouth to keep fresh, three days after the removal of bad breath.
6, how to do dumb voice: vinegar concentrate 50 grams, sugar 50 grams, 250 grams of cold water stir, slowly drink a day can be severe in patients at increased twice.
7, dry stools how to do: the thick green onions a little finger, dipped in a little sesame oil, insert the anus, up and down tics, perennial Drying vinegar concentrate.
8, psoriasis: a couple of catty vinegar soak peeled pine seeds, bulbs Two days later, three times a day rub, the better. Can also be a spoonful of orange peel powder and sesame oil Banchi spoon transfer smear.
9, toothache trick: Heat over the fire with a peach on the pain of the teeth after the bite, so a few times and never toothache.
10, nose bleeding how to do: When the nose is a lot of bleeding, the patient placed flat under the nose and eyes will be holding the hand of the opposite, points automatically sealed, and the blood immediately to stop.
11, Fishbone card throat: the throat with a vinegar rinse, and then slowly swallow, repeated several times can be cured.
12, athlete's foot tips: a pound of rice vinegar, the vinegar into the basin, soak or dip, twice daily, each about one hour, anti-inflammatory, can cure the foot of, and simple, effective and fast , the light four days to cure.
13, after the disease deafness, tinnitus: garlic nose cat from cat urine. Ear drops three times a cat urine can cure disease after deafness. Tinnitus can be baked snake ashes, blowing your ear, even blowing three times to cure tinnitus.
14, a new method of control of diabetes: a pound of fresh corn kernels. Amount of boiling water to maize after flowering in four a day, drink a bowl, this side can not go to the root, can only control the disease. Can reduce blood sugar. A swelling number of patients treated with urine, the effect is particularly good.
15, sleep sleep snore mouth with teeth a piece of orange peel, with fifteen minutes 3-5 times spit bite can cure the call.
16, foot odor, feet sweating: alum research into Ximo, wiping the soles foot after 10 minutes 3-4 times longer sweat does not stink. Seven or eight months can be maintained.
17, epilepsy (claw crazy): A worm, alum large bowl using the two open half-Whitewater red open. A bowl of morning fasting, and even drink ten days.
18, inflammation of the mouth: one day, sooner or later, Chili, and slowly swallow, keep 3-4 days, and immediately improved. Serious condition can also be with the side treatment.
19, coronary heart disease: 50 grams of soy beans, cooked add salt to eat ate amount of 3-4 days, the party not controlling the development of coronary heart disease, in particular, ideals, fall ill and then after this party.
20, migraine treatment tips: Use a white Luobu Pi posted on both sides of the temple, posted 20 minutes per night, up to quick, do not need to paste the head does not hurt, and the parties attending dizziness brain up.
21, cure hemorrhoids remedies: urea couple of open water to open the pot will be placed into the wet towel and wring release stool after the Tang. The first ten minutes three times a day, while Teng seven days. Within the external hemorrhoids can be cured, blood in the stool rectal prolapse.
22, the rapid lactation: sesame fried, add a little salt, preferably pre-10 days to start eating, meals for non-staple food, can quickly increase breast milk, eat more milk come faster.
23, the treatment of insomnia tips: the large light blue within the chopper on the small cap, small cap before going to sleep the pillow can be placed in fell asleep for several days to cure, those who could not sleep all year round, border treatment 5 days will go to the root.
24, heart disease: sooner or later each day, eat 50 grams of pineapple, the best 5-7 days, 2 years or so will not fall ill, fall ill after eating and then again once a seriously ill person to eat the second day, you can stable condition.
25, visual impairment how to do: dried apricot skin can be eye-catching pieces for a small pillow rest. Of visual impairment. Myopia hyperopia and so the wind tears have a certain effect.
26, hands and feet cracks: Medicinal rheumatism ointment, paste in the affected area long after a day off to a good crack shot.
27, dermatitis leaf tips will be grated line melon redness in the affected area until the friction, twist once every seven days 3 times, 6 times can be used in conjunction serious healing.
28, rhinitis: a drop of sesame oil with a cotton ball on the nose stick out after 15 minutes, 2-3 consecutive days, three times a day, with 2 times more severe. Vinegar, garlic bulbs can also be inserted into nose.
29, hypertension twenty-two fresh seaweed, made a bowl of seaweed soup, do not put inside, although the vegetables, fasting drink, and even served on the 10th then, kelp can quickly restore blood pressure to normal.
30, kidney: fresh river beans 100 grams, add water boiled add a little salt, taking 3-5 days before each meal restore health, such as strong physical force often eat on the best.
31, face speckle method: Soak the peeled almond will, smashed drunk, plus an egg white and mix thoroughly, every night before bed, next morning wash with white wine until the spot back.
32, stomach folk therapies take on the red egg shell into the tile on the twenty fire drying research into Ximo, with sugar to take to drink a spoon before serving, 2 times a day, served to date This side is very precious, while calcium and rickets are extremely effective.
33, or injured tendons: the leek mash, a little boy of less urine, swelling can be attached to the wound a few hours, three days can return to normal.
34, rapid weight loss: to the state to buy twenty-two oolong tea, oolong tea to drink one week can quickly melt fat and promote fat metabolism, to achieve weight loss, but also to prevent the occurrence of obesity. (Thick tea)
35, longevity secret: regular exercise, do not worry about gas every year to keep eating garlic, garlic is the best medicine to extend life, it can kill many harmful bacteria in vivo.
36, irregular menstruation: the Soviet Union to the countryside to take cotyledons twenty-two used the hot water after drinking four cups of light who can, in serious cases to drink a few days, it can soothe the nerves of the role of menstruation available, a large period of cold dysmenorrhea is not normal and special effects.
37, Shao Baitou: 500 grams with a scallop shell (scallop) Jianshui wash your hair, wash once a day 6-8 times to wash, so that in the long thick black hair out, such as old age and more particularly to wash several times.
38, rough skin is tender: each egg with a night mouth facial, wash with water after an hour, as can often rub the skin more tender.
39, frozen shoulder, low back pain, sciatic, back off: the earth element (on hold in a) seven baking ashes, rice wine seventy-two, put a bottle of a total of seven days and nights inside the bubble, seven o'clock every night Seven money to drink wine and play with his fist hard lesion seventy-seven looked mischievous nine, the ill treatment by a few more clothes can be cured.
40, tuberculosis recipe: 500 grams of live pupae research into the use of fire for drying fine, each with 3-5 grams 2 times a day, served to date, the effect is very good, this party is to provide Chinese Medicine Research Institute .
41, arthritis pain relief method: using aspartate ashes, into a small bag, which Where pain paste, paste for one hour every night, posted 3 times cured. This side and easy. Good effect on low back pain significantly improved.
42, underarm body odor: vinegar 100 grams, cumin powder 5 grams. Organs under the Uniform rubbed several times to reconcile body odor disappear immediately.
43, itching how to do: take a piece of ginger cut rub soles of the feet, men and women rub rub left right, a rub for ten minutes.
44, bone hyperplasia: the sheep tibia four, with a large wood burning coke broken into after the yellow face, a day after dinner delivery service with one or two of rice wine, once a few times.
45, swallowed hard objects of metal: the fried leek can be the next big mouth, broken glass, eating goes beyond, you can also use this side.
46, numb hands and feet: a good soaking black fungus, peach, honey, 120 grams each, a total of pound drunk, put the bowl of steaming hot, never finished sub-numb 4 days, pregnant women, disabled.
47, hair loss, from the scalp: Cabbage root slices to put Zeng clay pot water to boil, add two years after the vinegar essence shampoo, and even washing seven or eight days, make hair soft, shiny, the scalp was quickly disappear. Hair and a stubborn.
48, how to treat onychomycosis: The Purple garlic smashed drunk, plus a little alum coated on onychomycosis. Do not wipe too thick. And then sealed with plastic sheeting to nail. Translucent plastic sheeting closed effective only seven or eight days, I feel that up feeling just fine.
49, how to knock down the worms: pumpkin seeds (shelled leaving jen) 50-100 crush Ban Cheng amount of sugar paste with water, empty stomach once these days, the children can only destroy a variety of pests.
50, how to treat mastitis: a small piece of cactus plus three drops of sesame oil after the crush lesion.
51, how to treat foot corns: cut a piece of tape the middle of a small eye, posted on corn, small eyes appear Corn, Zaisa a point on the eye surface urea (fertilizer) and then press and hold a piece of tape, for the first three days, changed six times since the elimination from the Corn off.
52, prostatitis: dried dates thirty-two, rooster liver three fire Dunlan, decoction to drink, and even drink three.
53, Class of rheumatism: with fresh mulberry tree, how much can be chopped, mixed with a little yellow wine Guo Chao, add water, boil water hole, a cup of morning and at night, effective and even clothes.
Monday, May 23, 2011
The basic principles of life ( read lifetime )
a person no matter how intelligent, more capable, how good background conditions, and if people do not know how to do it, do something, then he is certainly the ultimate outcome of failure. Doing things is an art, it is a science. The reason why many people are commonplace life, it is because he lived a lifetime do not understand how someone who is. -
everyone living in the real world, all eager to succeed, and many people with lofty ideals to dream, to pay a lot, but get a little, and this can not but arouse people's food for thought: you can not say they are not hard, not hard, you can end up nothing why is the outcome of it? It is worth every one of us to seriously consider. -
the surface, it seems very simple way of doing things, who will not? Is not the case, for example, when you are a teacher, your wish is a good teacher subjective, but in fact they are not students; you to do business, your subjective desire to make big money can be chosen to lose this. Despite these surface phenomena, to discover the crux of the problem, you will find a way of doing things is really difficult to master science. -
so to speak, is a way of doing things in real life involves learning all aspects of a single study from any of the aspects, can not see the whole picture. To master this knowledge, grasp its essence, it must be refined on the real-life summary and draws some law of universal significance, it can be rules to follow it, rather than fan then no threads. -
read a tactic, good enough for your life! -
First, social interaction tactics -
- teach you to make contributions -
(a) of the
life skills only -
1, not arrogant -
2, proud not to carried away -
3, do not have the ability to boast of -
4, do not choose to ask people -
(b)
interaction with others, make friends to be friends, on the snobbish Fenhua, it seems not too demanding, when the More bearish, some look on, life will suddenly see the light, gusto the. -
as -
1, civil use -
2, Dankan life, kind of life -
3, indifferent Ming, Mo for the fame and fortune block our sight -
4, reduction of heart desire to satisfy mind -
(c) of the
do not know how -
-
1, save the living from the start -
2,
3, to guard against abnormal frugal: mean -
4, No Country For dyeing, frugal and to keep Germany -
(d)
to do a personality, give yourself the confidence! Break on their own path to success, a better future comes from self-reliance, do not bow to any authority, with efforts to find a part of your self-esteem. -
man named Li Shi, their closed! -
1, self-reliance, and success about -
2, alone product life attitudes -
3, with the self to challenge authority -
4, self-confidence - no matter how you wind truck -
(e)
born in ceremonies, to be a polite person. Polite person would be a man, it was fate, many friends. Polite person would do things, focus on image, cultivated, not enemies, success in every way on the road. -
1, courteous -
2, courtesy, politeness -
3, pay attention to etiquette dress, giving a good impression -
(f)
be a person of integrity and be a good person healthy personality, the subject of reverence. To be a selfish person and do things Qi Xin, Yin disease prevention capacity, and success missed. -
1, have behaved, do not impose on others -
2, jealous person is the Founder of taboo -
3, not to deceive your heart, in itself is a delight -
II Image tactics -
- teach you character and elegant -
(g)
give yourself a lever long enough and hope turn to Earth. -
to set your life a voluntary, goal trees, tree idol, down to earth, sense of need to develop a successful, first determined, and then with a date. -
1, degree of virtue within their means, to mark the conduct -
2, be determined, interested, there is hope -
3, successful culture awareness: determined to King -
4, establish the idol, to change their -
(h)
everyone should treat time, has to be punctual. Shape their own image, the modern concept of time can not be separated. Reasonable arrangements for their own time, effective use of their time, punctuality, unfortunately, do not delay. -
Remember: Time is money. -
1, one second value than gold -
2, do not ignore his spare time -
3, stealing other people time, equal to murder -
4, according to the importance of work, more effective use of time -
(i)
more effort, we more chance of success. Numerous facts have proved: the shortest way to success is hard work. Do not just pay lip service, not indolent, ground Lured on my own, paid off! -
1, the shortest way to success: hard work -
2, more effort, more opportunities -
3, diligent action, rather than handling that -
(j)
earth person, real work. Any one of his hands in his pockets all who could not climb the ladder of success. Give the impression that a real image, to add a touch of his success lay a solid foundation of reality, to themselves. -
1, dedicated, successful man of action protection -
2, to every good work -
3, his hands in his pockets who could not climb the ladder of success -
(k)
are designed only constant, I have perseverance. -
you live in an era of knowledge explosion, if you are a genius, you do not become the unfortunate focus; If you extraordinary qualifications, please do not pessimistic, as long as you are determined to do good thing, you can be successful. Young people do not give the impression of a ramshackle image. -
1, put all your eggs into one basket -
2, versatile, nurturing trained
3, specifically, to disadvantage into advantage -
(l)
life long, and short-term, the key on the steps. Human Jungle, workplace cause a lot of interest, a lot of temptations. Aging and are not afraid of much, everything should be more than think twice, afraid of ten thousand, afraid of the event. Once the stretch the wrong hands, the wrong, wrong, in reputation, in business, in the image Jie You do not save the crisis. -
-
1, do not the wrong -
2, then you want a good
3, do not act in haste -
Third, self-improvement tactics -
- teach you to save the fate -
(xiii)
life difficult, hard work, in the face of difficulties and resistance, to enhance the self, not to point the If things are forced, and should be bold enough to say time. -
1, rejection is an art -
2, the me, do not polite -
3, bristle of power -
4, thick-skinned man, scalp hard work -
(xiv)
the owner of a seafood restaurant chain is the fish market is likely to practice beach had children, and the original owner of a shoe store may be a shoeshine. Yuzuo big, big money, we must first do small things, make a little money, lend a willing small profit. From subtle to start with, the first sweep of a house, then sweep the world! -
1, a house does not scan, how can you sweep the world -
2, little things do first, make a little money -
3, a nail change a person's life -
(o)
Little Sparrow, Feifei jumping, racing against time, constantly looking for food. Life is also the case, the face of fierce competition, only to forge ahead, be a good pioneer, the next goal when the goal, to take risks, dare to battles and hoping things, after all, are slim. -
1, does not meet the existing achievements -
2, determined to pursue, not submissive -
3, and your spirit can not throw, the success is sooner or later -
(xvi)
self-improvement, courage and knowledge necessary to go beyond the self. What is beyond? Beyond is to eat crabs, is innovation. Innovation also means adventure, danger and seek so-called rich. Like people think, and do not do to others, first in the world, is thinking of conversion. -
1, first in the world -
2, breaking the rules of creativity -
3, abandoned as I can get miracles -
4, reverse the offensive and defensive way of thinking -
(xvii)
Poor people want change, change to solution.识时务者为俊杰, general engine change by the hero. Not a path to success, why hang in a tree it? Seize the key to success, the East West light does not shine, whether it is black or white, it is important is whether it can catch -
1, cleverly transformation strain -
2, All roads lead to Rome -
3, success is communication, there is only win through -
(xviii)
to commend someone else, like the food as alms to the hungry beggar. Throughout the ages, I do not know how many people, with the silver tongue, changed their extraordinary destiny. Speaking humor, find a common language ... ... a -
1, psychographic find topic -
2, flattery is the best
3, to succeed in life, humor and wit -
4,
Fourth, interpersonal tactics -
- teach you to win friends -
(xix)
interaction should focus on the future, forgive and forget. To forgive others is the best way to treat yourself - for your enemies and angry, burn your own. Doing things, not too narrow minded. Welcome to Wikipedia, by a generous heart! -
1, forgive your enemies -
2, a man of tolerance, tolerance succeed -
3, happy to forget, forgive and forget -
(xx)
in the sea, if we do not want isolation, you learn how to get along with others now! Big woods, what birds are, does not require all the people you like, but not what the world's most cattle people. -
and for you Well, we should remain level with each other, we can give face. -
1, for the benefit of others, for their future careers -
2, you give people to stay face, someone else to do something -
3, wife of the Road, also, and also intellectual -
(xxi)
how many people trust you, how many times you have a chance of success, The letter is a force of personality, friendship goes beyond money, is to understand, is to enjoy, is the overlying water, irreversible. So, true to its word, line must be fruit, can help the busy is to help, but not easy to promise! -
1, help is help, not an easy promise -
2, credible, and principled man -
3, do prior life, the first man to win the trust -
4, the credibility of the cornerstone of life and death, friendship -
(xxii)
Interpersonal relationships, mutual benefit and reciprocity. To help others, that is, human credit card for their savings, particularly in people impose on the occasion of trouble helping hand to save distressed hero in hardship. Really helpful, the rewards speak for themselves. -
1, to help others make a fortune, his dipping -
2, good wind power, by the ladder can be almost impossible -
3, seizing the opportunity to pull people one -
(xxiii)
people to face the tree to the skin. Human existence in society, to play various roles, especially in dealings with each other, requires a certain dignity to support, this is human weakness. Knowing this, can understand the -
1, to Conceal for the boss taboo -
2, in front of the losers talk about your pride -
3, respect each other's
(xxiv)
human well-being, inconstancy of human relationships, usually through common friends. Make friends then friends, not instant success, friendship and investment, should take the long, cold temple worship, Yaki-Yaki cold stove, at ordinary times, even a few words of greeting, is also making friends. -
1, more leisure time to burn incense, when anxious people to help -
2, friendship investment, should take the long-term -
3, the temple worship cold, burning cold stove, make misfortune Heroes -
V. Rebate Due tactics -
- teach you more relaxed and happy -
(xxv)
the face of setbacks and difficulties, bearing in mind Churchill's famous quote: For the final victory, should persistence ambition, the humiliation being faced and persistent pursuit, not stop until one reaches one's goal! -
1, profound knowledge, resistance to loneliness -
2, who laughs last, laughs best sweet -
3, persistent pursuit, never give up -
4, not stop until one reaches one's goal -
(xxvi)
man has confused things with a difficult Problem-solving by the head, brain produces thought, so think angry, in a surprise place easily solve the problem. -
1, the cleverest housewife can without straw -
2, from the
3, the power of thought -
(xxvii)
to get rid of the plight of people and things, which inevitably requires people to be obsequious inevitably ask for help, but look to the future success, even if the same as the cockroaches should be at the expense of living, feng shui, after all, times change. Lend a hand with the give way bent, resilient to bend for the extension side to hero! -
1, the same as the cockroach life -
2, postures, in front of a road -
3, you respect my foot, I respect you ten feet -
4, low-level people,
(xxviii)
Calm among the plight of the decision is often the best solution, but also a kind of calm and wisdom to wait for change, Luanzhongqusheng! -
1, sat in the back seat managers chair -
2, heart Ning Zhisheng, intellectual trouble into -
3, calm the heart from the Yi -
4, tolerant about parties for the outstanding personality -
(xxix)
There is no absolute happiness, and only refused to happy heart. Life is short, with every pull bow, crossbow, as Remember, success is starting from the smiling, life things do not always eighty-nine, no music, create their own fun, learn to easily solve the problem. -
1, a successful start from the smile -
2, learn to create happiness -
3, relaxed and happy to learn to solve problems -
4, There is no absolute happiness and only happiness would not mind -
(xxx)
life rely on themselves and, yes, the sky will not fall in your lap, sit back and wait starved to death, but that does not rely on does not work, relatives, friends, classmates, fellow villagers, is a Three disaster six difficult to rely on the keep, keep not rely on the creation of conditions! -
1, let a friend be your patron -
2, out distressed by the villagers -
3, relatives of relatives, further and further pro -
4, Dream of Youth, the Kaokao a -
six unbeaten life tactics -
- teach you life, brilliant -
(xxxi)
learn owl, an eye, close one eye. You say I'm confused, in fact, I'm not stupid! More than just changing things, business is difficult, ruining fast, people say that water is clear there are no fish, no police were to Christians. In fact, the self-preservation, of great minds are often Dayu, smart person and more able to live -
1, stupid people smart I, -
2, do not think they smarter than others -
3, doing things not too seriously -
4, who is a hero? -
(xxxii)
really a hero, why shortness of breath, start to finish, side is undefeated! Forbearance to preserve one, and forbearance Nengcheng Shi, tolerance is a great wisdom, Dayong, an even bigger blessing! Tolerance is a thick, black bear, bear villain, forbearance tyrannical, and forbearance of the world finds it hard to do, do not do mild-mannered fellow, as a matter too hard for ordinary people. -
1, tolerance is a quick response Tai Fook -
2, do not do mild-mannered fellow -
3, undefeated life, ninja invincible -
(xxxiii)
Jiuli rivers and lakes, sophisticated human person stuck a Withdrawal is a strategy, retirement is a kind of exchange, but also a means to survive. A good philosopher, said,
1, as wrong as hard regardless, consider backward in every way -
2, refused to compromise, is refusing to success -
3, untouchables, hide under the covers from the -
(xxxiv)
radius of a man, smooth and slick; successful work, everything goes. Unpredictable people, always best to hold back, there are at leisure, you can look -
1, radius of a man, a complete work -
2, made her second child, do not do the boss -
3, human sophistication that article, life skills Yuantong careful speech -
(xxxv)
Have at home, the workplace and so can not escape a -
1, long and short term first, near no risk -
2, Guo Ziyi Pingtui maid free scourge -
3, mountains and the countryside when farmers - Fan rich life -
(xxxvi)
Living life in a drama, you Changba I play, whether you will play, to see you will not be installed. Easy to charge a hero, play the weak difficult. As the saying goes, good deed goes unpunished, not afraid of thieves afraid of thieves misses, when you do not have the strength, please hide your talent surplus! -
1, deliberately refused to yield good -
2, use
3, success requires the Cheat Death and pretend to be defeated -
everyone living in the real world, all eager to succeed, and many people with lofty ideals to dream, to pay a lot, but get a little, and this can not but arouse people's food for thought: you can not say they are not hard, not hard, you can end up nothing why is the outcome of it? It is worth every one of us to seriously consider. -
the surface, it seems very simple way of doing things, who will not? Is not the case, for example, when you are a teacher, your wish is a good teacher subjective, but in fact they are not students; you to do business, your subjective desire to make big money can be chosen to lose this. Despite these surface phenomena, to discover the crux of the problem, you will find a way of doing things is really difficult to master science. -
so to speak, is a way of doing things in real life involves learning all aspects of a single study from any of the aspects, can not see the whole picture. To master this knowledge, grasp its essence, it must be refined on the real-life summary and draws some law of universal significance, it can be rules to follow it, rather than fan then no threads. -
read a tactic, good enough for your life! -
First, social interaction tactics -
- teach you to make contributions -
(a) of the
life skills only -
1, not arrogant -
2, proud not to carried away -
3, do not have the ability to boast of -
4, do not choose to ask people -
(b)
interaction with others, make friends to be friends, on the snobbish Fenhua, it seems not too demanding, when the More bearish, some look on, life will suddenly see the light, gusto the. -
as -
1, civil use -
2, Dankan life, kind of life -
3, indifferent Ming, Mo for the fame and fortune block our sight -
4, reduction of heart desire to satisfy mind -
(c) of the
do not know how -
-
1, save the living from the start -
2,
3, to guard against abnormal frugal: mean -
4, No Country For dyeing, frugal and to keep Germany -
(d)
to do a personality, give yourself the confidence! Break on their own path to success, a better future comes from self-reliance, do not bow to any authority, with efforts to find a part of your self-esteem. -
man named Li Shi, their closed! -
1, self-reliance, and success about -
2, alone product life attitudes -
3, with the self to challenge authority -
4, self-confidence - no matter how you wind truck -
(e)
born in ceremonies, to be a polite person. Polite person would be a man, it was fate, many friends. Polite person would do things, focus on image, cultivated, not enemies, success in every way on the road. -
1, courteous -
2, courtesy, politeness -
3, pay attention to etiquette dress, giving a good impression -
(f)
be a person of integrity and be a good person healthy personality, the subject of reverence. To be a selfish person and do things Qi Xin, Yin disease prevention capacity, and success missed. -
1, have behaved, do not impose on others -
2, jealous person is the Founder of taboo -
3, not to deceive your heart, in itself is a delight -
II Image tactics -
- teach you character and elegant -
(g)
give yourself a lever long enough and hope turn to Earth. -
to set your life a voluntary, goal trees, tree idol, down to earth, sense of need to develop a successful, first determined, and then with a date. -
1, degree of virtue within their means, to mark the conduct -
2, be determined, interested, there is hope -
3, successful culture awareness: determined to King -
4, establish the idol, to change their -
(h)
everyone should treat time, has to be punctual. Shape their own image, the modern concept of time can not be separated. Reasonable arrangements for their own time, effective use of their time, punctuality, unfortunately, do not delay. -
Remember: Time is money. -
1, one second value than gold -
2, do not ignore his spare time -
3, stealing other people time, equal to murder -
4, according to the importance of work, more effective use of time -
(i)
more effort, we more chance of success. Numerous facts have proved: the shortest way to success is hard work. Do not just pay lip service, not indolent, ground Lured on my own, paid off! -
1, the shortest way to success: hard work -
2, more effort, more opportunities -
3, diligent action, rather than handling that -
(j)
earth person, real work. Any one of his hands in his pockets all who could not climb the ladder of success. Give the impression that a real image, to add a touch of his success lay a solid foundation of reality, to themselves. -
1, dedicated, successful man of action protection -
2, to every good work -
3, his hands in his pockets who could not climb the ladder of success -
(k)
are designed only constant, I have perseverance. -
you live in an era of knowledge explosion, if you are a genius, you do not become the unfortunate focus; If you extraordinary qualifications, please do not pessimistic, as long as you are determined to do good thing, you can be successful. Young people do not give the impression of a ramshackle image. -
1, put all your eggs into one basket -
2, versatile, nurturing trained
3, specifically, to disadvantage into advantage -
(l)
life long, and short-term, the key on the steps. Human Jungle, workplace cause a lot of interest, a lot of temptations. Aging and are not afraid of much, everything should be more than think twice, afraid of ten thousand, afraid of the event. Once the stretch the wrong hands, the wrong, wrong, in reputation, in business, in the image Jie You do not save the crisis. -
-
1, do not the wrong -
2, then you want a good
3, do not act in haste -
Third, self-improvement tactics -
- teach you to save the fate -
(xiii)
life difficult, hard work, in the face of difficulties and resistance, to enhance the self, not to point the If things are forced, and should be bold enough to say time. -
1, rejection is an art -
2, the me, do not polite -
3, bristle of power -
4, thick-skinned man, scalp hard work -
(xiv)
the owner of a seafood restaurant chain is the fish market is likely to practice beach had children, and the original owner of a shoe store may be a shoeshine. Yuzuo big, big money, we must first do small things, make a little money, lend a willing small profit. From subtle to start with, the first sweep of a house, then sweep the world! -
1, a house does not scan, how can you sweep the world -
2, little things do first, make a little money -
3, a nail change a person's life -
(o)
Little Sparrow, Feifei jumping, racing against time, constantly looking for food. Life is also the case, the face of fierce competition, only to forge ahead, be a good pioneer, the next goal when the goal, to take risks, dare to battles and hoping things, after all, are slim. -
1, does not meet the existing achievements -
2, determined to pursue, not submissive -
3, and your spirit can not throw, the success is sooner or later -
(xvi)
self-improvement, courage and knowledge necessary to go beyond the self. What is beyond? Beyond is to eat crabs, is innovation. Innovation also means adventure, danger and seek so-called rich. Like people think, and do not do to others, first in the world, is thinking of conversion. -
1, first in the world -
2, breaking the rules of creativity -
3, abandoned as I can get miracles -
4, reverse the offensive and defensive way of thinking -
(xvii)
Poor people want change, change to solution.识时务者为俊杰, general engine change by the hero. Not a path to success, why hang in a tree it? Seize the key to success, the East West light does not shine, whether it is black or white, it is important is whether it can catch -
1, cleverly transformation strain -
2, All roads lead to Rome -
3, success is communication, there is only win through -
(xviii)
to commend someone else, like the food as alms to the hungry beggar. Throughout the ages, I do not know how many people, with the silver tongue, changed their extraordinary destiny. Speaking humor, find a common language ... ... a -
1, psychographic find topic -
2, flattery is the best
3, to succeed in life, humor and wit -
4,
Fourth, interpersonal tactics -
- teach you to win friends -
(xix)
interaction should focus on the future, forgive and forget. To forgive others is the best way to treat yourself - for your enemies and angry, burn your own. Doing things, not too narrow minded. Welcome to Wikipedia, by a generous heart! -
1, forgive your enemies -
2, a man of tolerance, tolerance succeed -
3, happy to forget, forgive and forget -
(xx)
in the sea, if we do not want isolation, you learn how to get along with others now! Big woods, what birds are, does not require all the people you like, but not what the world's most cattle people. -
and for you Well, we should remain level with each other, we can give face. -
1, for the benefit of others, for their future careers -
2, you give people to stay face, someone else to do something -
3, wife of the Road, also, and also intellectual -
(xxi)
how many people trust you, how many times you have a chance of success, The letter is a force of personality, friendship goes beyond money, is to understand, is to enjoy, is the overlying water, irreversible. So, true to its word, line must be fruit, can help the busy is to help, but not easy to promise! -
1, help is help, not an easy promise -
2, credible, and principled man -
3, do prior life, the first man to win the trust -
4, the credibility of the cornerstone of life and death, friendship -
(xxii)
Interpersonal relationships, mutual benefit and reciprocity. To help others, that is, human credit card for their savings, particularly in people impose on the occasion of trouble helping hand to save distressed hero in hardship. Really helpful, the rewards speak for themselves. -
1, to help others make a fortune, his dipping -
2, good wind power, by the ladder can be almost impossible -
3, seizing the opportunity to pull people one -
(xxiii)
people to face the tree to the skin. Human existence in society, to play various roles, especially in dealings with each other, requires a certain dignity to support, this is human weakness. Knowing this, can understand the -
1, to Conceal for the boss taboo -
2, in front of the losers talk about your pride -
3, respect each other's
(xxiv)
human well-being, inconstancy of human relationships, usually through common friends. Make friends then friends, not instant success, friendship and investment, should take the long, cold temple worship, Yaki-Yaki cold stove, at ordinary times, even a few words of greeting, is also making friends. -
1, more leisure time to burn incense, when anxious people to help -
2, friendship investment, should take the long-term -
3, the temple worship cold, burning cold stove, make misfortune Heroes -
V. Rebate Due tactics -
- teach you more relaxed and happy -
(xxv)
the face of setbacks and difficulties, bearing in mind Churchill's famous quote: For the final victory, should persistence ambition, the humiliation being faced and persistent pursuit, not stop until one reaches one's goal! -
1, profound knowledge, resistance to loneliness -
2, who laughs last, laughs best sweet -
3, persistent pursuit, never give up -
4, not stop until one reaches one's goal -
(xxvi)
man has confused things with a difficult Problem-solving by the head, brain produces thought, so think angry, in a surprise place easily solve the problem. -
1, the cleverest housewife can without straw -
2, from the
3, the power of thought -
(xxvii)
to get rid of the plight of people and things, which inevitably requires people to be obsequious inevitably ask for help, but look to the future success, even if the same as the cockroaches should be at the expense of living, feng shui, after all, times change. Lend a hand with the give way bent, resilient to bend for the extension side to hero! -
1, the same as the cockroach life -
2, postures, in front of a road -
3, you respect my foot, I respect you ten feet -
4, low-level people,
(xxviii)
Calm among the plight of the decision is often the best solution, but also a kind of calm and wisdom to wait for change, Luanzhongqusheng! -
1, sat in the back seat managers chair -
2, heart Ning Zhisheng, intellectual trouble into -
3, calm the heart from the Yi -
4, tolerant about parties for the outstanding personality -
(xxix)
There is no absolute happiness, and only refused to happy heart. Life is short, with every pull bow, crossbow, as Remember, success is starting from the smiling, life things do not always eighty-nine, no music, create their own fun, learn to easily solve the problem. -
1, a successful start from the smile -
2, learn to create happiness -
3, relaxed and happy to learn to solve problems -
4, There is no absolute happiness and only happiness would not mind -
(xxx)
life rely on themselves and, yes, the sky will not fall in your lap, sit back and wait starved to death, but that does not rely on does not work, relatives, friends, classmates, fellow villagers, is a Three disaster six difficult to rely on the keep, keep not rely on the creation of conditions! -
1, let a friend be your patron -
2, out distressed by the villagers -
3, relatives of relatives, further and further pro -
4, Dream of Youth, the Kaokao a -
six unbeaten life tactics -
- teach you life, brilliant -
(xxxi)
learn owl, an eye, close one eye. You say I'm confused, in fact, I'm not stupid! More than just changing things, business is difficult, ruining fast, people say that water is clear there are no fish, no police were to Christians. In fact, the self-preservation, of great minds are often Dayu, smart person and more able to live -
1, stupid people smart I, -
2, do not think they smarter than others -
3, doing things not too seriously -
4, who is a hero? -
(xxxii)
really a hero, why shortness of breath, start to finish, side is undefeated! Forbearance to preserve one, and forbearance Nengcheng Shi, tolerance is a great wisdom, Dayong, an even bigger blessing! Tolerance is a thick, black bear, bear villain, forbearance tyrannical, and forbearance of the world finds it hard to do, do not do mild-mannered fellow, as a matter too hard for ordinary people. -
1, tolerance is a quick response Tai Fook -
2, do not do mild-mannered fellow -
3, undefeated life, ninja invincible -
(xxxiii)
Jiuli rivers and lakes, sophisticated human person stuck a Withdrawal is a strategy, retirement is a kind of exchange, but also a means to survive. A good philosopher, said,
1, as wrong as hard regardless, consider backward in every way -
2, refused to compromise, is refusing to success -
3, untouchables, hide under the covers from the -
(xxxiv)
radius of a man, smooth and slick; successful work, everything goes. Unpredictable people, always best to hold back, there are at leisure, you can look -
1, radius of a man, a complete work -
2, made her second child, do not do the boss -
3, human sophistication that article, life skills Yuantong careful speech -
(xxxv)
Have at home, the workplace and so can not escape a -
1, long and short term first, near no risk -
2, Guo Ziyi Pingtui maid free scourge -
3, mountains and the countryside when farmers - Fan rich life -
(xxxvi)
Living life in a drama, you Changba I play, whether you will play, to see you will not be installed. Easy to charge a hero, play the weak difficult. As the saying goes, good deed goes unpunished, not afraid of thieves afraid of thieves misses, when you do not have the strength, please hide your talent surplus! -
1, deliberately refused to yield good -
2, use
3, success requires the Cheat Death and pretend to be defeated -
Sunday, May 22, 2011
ノ°ハq `A! ['n! &'] You will not regret on
Who want to come out . may be necessary to pull away . Why am I afraid . .. I was afraid of what is
fit you . ? fit why I left . I do not know. to what is going to face over there . Let me go right a person has . once people have not love me. I would like to
what I mean to stay in it . ? at this time how much my heart hurt . Who can feel it. ? I always ran away. I dare not say a word with him . I do not know What I am trying to avoid . Why should escape
avoid . I'm really afraid that he leave the world again . hurt me again . I'm afraid . I'm afraid I could not help forgive her. to suffer . think before that I love . single-minded about my her. Really feel sigh
pity . Although I love her , love . But I can not forgive him for me. I am now. can use < reluctantly part with > the words to describe . Why would he come to this. Before her. nothing by
me. considerate of my remote. At that time I was the happiest boy in the world . , although the two days off together, and some difficulties. But that is a kind of fun. is a blessing. Recall The past
everything. looking at the immediate pain , my heart hurts. hurts
fit you . ? fit why I left . I do not know. to what is going to face over there . Let me go right a person has . once people have not love me. I would like to
what I mean to stay in it . ? at this time how much my heart hurt . Who can feel it. ? I always ran away. I dare not say a word with him . I do not know What I am trying to avoid . Why should escape
avoid . I'm really afraid that he leave the world again . hurt me again . I'm afraid . I'm afraid I could not help forgive her. to suffer . think before that I love . single-minded about my her. Really feel sigh
pity . Although I love her , love . But I can not forgive him for me. I am now. can use < reluctantly part with > the words to describe . Why would he come to this. Before her. nothing by
me. considerate of my remote. At that time I was the happiest boy in the world . , although the two days off together, and some difficulties. But that is a kind of fun. is a blessing. Recall The past
everything. looking at the immediate pain , my heart hurts. hurts
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